Atoms

she sits on her bed, with tears running down her face

covering her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater to muffle the cries so she doesnt wake anyone up

she sits there, silently crying, wishing someone in this world cared enough

she wonders why shes like this. why shes this depressed ball of sadness and anxiety. why cant she be normal? she asks herself this every day

she knows she’ll never be good enough. she knows that its better to just bite her tongue and not argue. even when she knows shes being walked over. even when she knows shes being taken advantage of

because its better to stay quiet and accept it. she knows she deserves it. she knows shes never going to be worth anything more

because all she is is another collection of atoms in this universe

if she killed herself, the seasons would still change, people would still move on with their lives. in fact, people wouldn’t have to deal with the burden she is

her atoms could become something better. something bigger. something with value

the way she sees it, through her blurry, tear filled eyes, is that shes doing people a favour

but shes afraid of being unsuccessful. shes afraid of failing. especially since shes used to failing at most things in life.

so instead, she sits there, tears rolling down her cheek, muffling her sobs with her sweater, trying to be as quiet as possible, wishing that her atoms were used to create something that was valuable

because she knows shes a waste of atoms