well im trying to deal with this grief business (thanks to some advice from some very intelligent members here), not very successfully i might add, but then again whats successful grief? in an attempt to feel closer to my friend, when im alone i reread her emails, posts and messages. then i start to think about things i didnt or should’ve said. maybe it might have made a difference….. maybe not. all this is really doing is releasing the endless stream of tears i seem to have, which never dry up. i know she wouldnt want me to be like this, & i dont want to fuck up her memory, but it does make me feel closer to her.
I think a big part of why im like this is that i cant talk to anyone IRL about this. maybe i need to see someone or see a grief councillor. anyone ever seen a grief councillor or the like? did it help?
i have to do something cos i cant keep going and feeling like this. & constantly posting these morose little snipets.