The kind of tired that no amount of sleep can cure. I feel like I’m a joke to everyone around me and I hate feeling like that. I try so hard not to let the world make me a cold hearted cruel person. The truth is I’m getting real tired and I feel like why am I trying so hard? No one ever gives me the same care, understanding, love or effort I give them so why can’t I just quit? Why can’t I just say fuck it and let everything go?! I’m sorry really I am but I’m exhausted caring is too much. This isn’t to say that I don’t value myself or things because I do but I just don’t want to care anymore. I don’t want to care about others feelings or what others think. IT IS WHAT IT IS. This is the year I let go, stop caring and whatever happens happens. I feel like I’m going numb I can feel myself not care I can feel the emotions melting away. I want release from it all I want to be free, alone and free I want to find love and happiness within myself. I’m disappearing from the world again because I can’t stand it or the people in my life.
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Yeah, I stopped caring a long time ago, I couldn’t keep up with it. No amount of sleep can restore my energy, or my happiness. I also feel like a joke to everyone around me, although I feel more as a pathetic worthless piece of dirt. I really wish euthanization was legal.
I hope you are reading mine and everyone else’s comments because I pour my heart out when writing them it’s just I never get a reply from you so I never know if you read them or not anyways I hope you pull through and that things go better for you then it does myself 🙂 happy New years
I can sort of relate. I mean, I have lots of well-meaning people around me. But sometimes I just end up doing too much for people who don’t really do it for me, so to speak. I want to just be good to everyone and in harmony with my surroundings, but I guess I also have to admit that some people bring me more value than others. It is a hard balance to strike, I feel. I am reading a book on Loneliness by John Cacioppo, which I hope will be helpful. Anyway, that was my little plug, take care. Actually, just to conclude, I think you need to look at your social needs as just as subjective and important as your other needs. Some people need others around them constantly, others need more time to themselves. Some people like one type of person, others another, etc.