Hello friends. If anyone has suggestions on how to at least cope with the persistent pain of being alive when you don’t want to be, it’d be most welcome. Or just feel free to share whatever’s on your mind. I have gotten to the point of drawing nooses in my course syllabus. You know, like an emo high school MCR fan, except I’m 22 and too old for this juvenile behavior. I’ve gotten to the point beyond tears, where all that remains is a constant dull ache in the chest. Like I’m lugging around weights. I hate going to school, but all other avenues in life (including working) also seem to be awful. My mom would never accept my suicide because she’s religious, so I’m stuck in this hell. Well, let’s not blame it on her entirely; let’s just say I’m too ***** to do it anyway. I wish my country had welfare. Anyway, whether I leave school or not, I’m going to be in this pain for at least a while, it seems. It’s hard to imagine 60 more years of this.
Don’t have kids, fam, it perpetuates this madness.
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23 black and I once let my cuts show freely as I felt nothing wrong with it. I haven’t stayed with my parents since 13 but when they did see the cuts it was a big deal to everyone. I can’t believe I made it this far being alive not like I haven’t tried but I do have cuts everywhere. I’ve stopped haven’t since June. I too have been finding ways to cope end.. I feel like ive ran through all the options. Life its self is good people are proud of me even though I drag myself to work. Thinking about cutting every day but I have nothing to show but scars. I feel lost in depression. Some times I go insane wondering when it all will end. As life changes as 23 turns to 24 and so on I’ll remain the same. I wish I could answer your question but after so many years of support therapist and pills I feel this is it. That people that do commit suicide get pitted. Because honestly we never stood a chance