I’ve got until the 28th. I know what I’m going to do and how to do it, and I have everything I need.
I really wish I could have stuck around a bit longer.
The weather’s been getting nicer where I am. Funny enough that’s just something that seems to happen when I feel my time is up.
I remember three years ago when it happened the first time. It really was a beautiful day that day.
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I know what you mean. On the days I decided it was time, they were always so beautiful. Everything was perfect and just seemed right for once. Like there was no before that day, and there would be no after. Everything seemed to have this golden aura surrounding it. The people, the cars, the buildings… everything… Golden bliss
Today is like that too for me.
It is strange.
There is a passage from the novel Shogun that describes something similar to this. I’ll be damned if I can find it.
The protagonist, an Englishman, tries to commit suicide and is disarmed. He experienced a period of great inner peace. He could hear each individual drop in a rainstorm.
Carlos Castaneda talks about visualizing death hovering over your shoulder… using it as an anchor to maintain perspective. I tried this for a while. It helped me deal with failing out of college.
I want that inner peace without fooling around with suicide, but I haven’t meditated in months. I have a short attention span and today’s technology and the current political climate are relentlessly conspiring to distract me.
I need to go to more state parks where there is no cell coverage. Gosh, I’m doing that Friday! OK, pat self on back.
I wish you luck in where you go. Whether you decide to or not, whether it’s successful or not, I hope you feel that bliss in every second of everyday
My day is my birthday 29 August. By then I will have thought it until all that is left to do is act.