.

I’m tired of myself. Not my life, or circumstances, but me. Having the thoughts and feelings that I do. Trying to be different doesn’t work though, because it’s the same self that’s doing the trying. No matter how elaborate the plans, I will find a way to self-sabotage. In the end, the same old patterns of thinking will assert control. I can’t stop myself from making myself miserable.

I’m too broken, in the way I approach and react to the world. I don’t have the capacity necessary to function. I don’t have it within me to be content.

I need a personality reset. Return to factory conditions. Although come to think of it I was pretty faulty to begin with. Scrap me and buy a new one.

Replace me with a less defective model. If it has my name and physical appearance, and is able to get along with my family, will it be me? If it was happy, would it be me being happy? Is there anything that defines me other than my faults?

What is this self that’s so unhappy anyway? Probably doesn’t even exist! So none of this matters anyway. These are just the random discharges of a malfunctioning computer, that thinks it’s people.