Low Energy

There’s so many things I could be doing. So much I should be doing. But why bother? I don’t see any payoff. If I try really hard, and give it my best shot, I can at least fail respectably. I can get the participation award of life. But what’s the fucking point? How worthwhile is that going to be?

I should be planning an exit. But even that feels like pointless work. So much effort, simply to end existence. To return to the mud and shit from whence I came. To prove once and for all that it was all for nothing.

Nothing is worthwhile. Nothing matters. There’s just effort, to survive, for the sake of survival. Every act is like pulling teeth.

There’s so much time, and so many things I could be doing. If only I had the energy. Instead, I’m sleepwalking through life, dragging my corpse around, pretending that something’s going to get done.