I was 17 when I first heard this song, over a decade ago. I was on holiday at the time, and had been up all night reading. The sun was rising, and framed by the window was a distant hill, with a single, solitary tree. It’s hard to explain why, but it’s the closest I’ve come to a ‘spiritual’ experience.
I think it had something to do with gratitude. With the idea of being grateful for your experience, even though it had been painful. That loss and pain and loneliness could still be beautiful, no matter how much I wanted to avoid them. That ultimately, it was all part of the same whole, and I was glad for it. I was glad that such beauty existed in the world, even though it had caused me pain. It’s the closest I’ve come to a feeling of peace with reality.
I wish I could’ve maintained that feeling. You lose it in the daily grind, the fear that comes from just trying to live in the world. I miss who I was back then.