that awkward moment when you are so depressed by everything around you with seemingly no cause and it builds up inside you so much to the point where you have to either say something or commit suicide so you finally open up to one of your few friends and it initially goes well until they get sick of you talking and they slowly lose touch with you until you wake up one day and realise that you just basically commited social suicide and you might as well have slit your throat then and there because everyone around you doesn’t care enough about you to listen to your problems so you might as well just commit anyways because nobody is going to truely care enough about you to stop you anyways or to care about you after your gone but despite all this you continue to try to regulate your mental state until you can no loger sustain the crushing weight of your combined guilt, anxiety and general hollowness and depression.
isnt that relatable
6 comments
It is relatable. Sorry you’re going through this who. I’ve had many “friends” disappear because they really didn’t enough fucks to care. Know that how they see you does not determine how much you are worth. Just a lot of people are pretty darn shallow…and that says nothing about you as a person. You’ve got to get through this not for them but for you. Not sure how much it means…but we care about you.
I hate it when people say generic things like “your true friends are the ones who are there for you/don’t abandon you when you are going through the worst times” as if it is representive of how loyal they perceive themselves to be, but then they turn around and flake out on you when you need them anyway
yeah. i have heard people say things like “your real friends” or “the people who really love you will be there for you, so don’t worry about the ones who aren’t, just be glad there’s a few real ones.” OK. That is sooooooo wise. Spoken like someone who has a few people who love them enough to go through anything holding their hand. Experience says that I do not. History tells me that anyone who claims to love me will get frustrated and leave, or distance themselves if I do not make them happy for a few days. Since this pain has been with me for years, I haven’t got much hope in keeping friends unless I hide the pain, in which case I actually have no use for them, to be frank.
What utter bullshit. People are weak. Your real friends. Yeah good luck with that. Me znd this bottle of tequila are real friends. Those breathing meatsacks that clutter my life are useless.
BTW you worded that so much nicer than me. <3
hahaha!! Hazy, yeah….. practice practice. I live with 3 very thin-skinned people who think they are calloused. And yeah, even though everyone “has their reasons” I simply can’t be who they want me to be, or I would actually HAVE to kill myself.