I appreciate broken people. It makes me feel comfortable to know I’m not alone. In the same way that it’s nice to have on old beat up jacket or car. When things are already broken it’s not so bad when you hurt them. I recognize this is a result of low self worth. How do you build self worth? How do you establish your own value?
I’m struggle with depression on and off my whole life. It’s pretty debilitating and uncomfortable. It’s usually a result of anxiety and the natural defence. The anxiety is like something burning me up and throws my inner world into such chaos that I just want it to end. That’s the shit that would make me kill myself. The depression is much more noticeable and socially pretty restricting where the anxiety is something that is less noticeable but does much more damage.
My point? No point. I’m just a little fucked up.
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I hadn’t thought about the comfort of broken people/beat up things as a self worth thing. I always thought it was a “these people/this thing can take a beating and keep going, so they can deal with my shit” I have an old truck like that, and for whatever reason the thing comforts me to no end. It’s nice to identify with my vehicle and think “yeah, some things need working on, but it’s still holding on, it still has something to offer”.
Do these “broken people” hurt you too?
Maybe everyone just hurts everyone.
I don’t know
No, not usually. Not intentionally. I’ve come to find that after the initial damage I have been the one to hurt me the most.
Well I once read that the self-esteem is build around the age of 3-5 and then again formed in the early teens. So if you had parents who encouraged you to build a healthy self-esteem and if you were appreciated as an individual, your self-worth and personality were tightened and those people tend to be happier and more successful in life, assumed you had a functional family and parents who were supportive, loving and caring.
I think it’s kind of a given, that your parents shape your personality/issues
I also think you could have children if you wanted to… If you work on re-shaping yourself. I used to say I would never have kids. Now I think if circumstances were good/I felt fully capable, I hope that I would be able to do it as close to right as possible.
Isn’t it scary that your parents can have such a huge impact on your future life? I mean they can make you have a lifespan full of fulfillment and happiness, or they can screw it totally….. That’s probably the reason why I don’t ever want to have kids….