I Am Done

I’m done trying to be an A student. I’m doing trying to be the perfect daughter. The amazing girlfriend. I’m done trying to be happy. I used to think that there was always something better but why look towards the future when you have to live in the present and your past always haunts. I’m tired of being terrified of my own father. I’m tired of putting on a fake smile everywhere I go. I’m not trying to complain but honestly, I haven’t felt this suicidal for a really  long time. It feels like there is no hope left in the world. I don’t want to tell my girlfriend because she gets worried and I don’t want to worry her. I just want to breathe and be left alone.. For good.