The only thing I have is emptiness. I keep hoping to find friendship or meaning, and thinking i’ve lost the relationships that had it but when I look back I never had any. Is it me or are there really no circumstances where a connection has meaning.The feelings of those I care about the most are not returned, and everyone is so blatantly average with only empty conversation. If the world has nothing to offer but vapid superficial people why should I keep going? no one care, no one listens, and I am still an unremarkable unloved person. And yes im aware Im being egotistical.
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Egotistical? I don’t see it.
Connections are harder to form the further we get from our school days.
I think people are just trying to stay afloat and aren’t as contemplative as I’m guessing you are.
The thing is i’m in middle school, everyone around me seems perfectly content, Im an outgoing person and have plenty of textbook “friends” but none of any of it is more than laughing and being spiteful, no I cant make new friends its everyone, and no its not just because middle school is hard. But yeah I guess some people don think about that too much.
You sound a lot older than your years.
God, middle school. What an awkward time that was. Everyone changing all at once, yesterday’s norm quickly changing.
Hang in there. You seem really bright. Do what you can to go away to University, if possible. It’s a whole different world, filled with a lot of people like you.
Please find another place to hang out. There’s so little encouragement here for a young person. Hugs to you.
I understand what you mean…but you know what? I’m willing to bet that those people at least remember your good vibes. They may even regret not showing you some appreciation. But yeah I understand that there are in fact people who won’t even have the decency to acknowledge your good vibes. Its as if being real with one another isn’t cool. I think being fake isn’t cool.
thats true, it’s like pack mentality stamps out any form of thought. Thanks for the positive outlook though.
i don’t know it seems like this i the only place where people understand, or have the capacity to listen even if hey don’t respond. Most people don’t rally understand the way I feel or think its a joke, Im definitely ready for college and a chance to leave.
Its great to look forward to the future. Good for you. But try not to rush things too fast. Give yourself a better chance to find those people you can connect with on a personal level in the present. There has to be at least one or two of them out there. I know its hard to spot them at first but they really might just be within your reachable distance. Are there any “loners” or “outcasts” at your school that seem like they’d be cool if they’d open up more? I’d give some of those kids a chance. They tend to pretend that they’re busy on their phones but that’s usually just a pose they use to hide their insecurity of socializing with other people. Oh and some of those headphone/ear-bud peeps aren’t really that into their music. Some of those guys are hiding too. They’re headphone use is a defense mechanism to pretend they’d much rather listen to music then socialize with others to spare humiliating themselves. And at first they might even refuse to respond but that’s just an act. The next day they’ll pretend like you never talked to them and they’ll appear as if they don’t notice you but they really do. They’re just that skeptical about people. They won’t allow themselves to be vulnerable at first. Some are harder to get through than others. Again this is only true for some and you may never really know if its true because they often deny it.
I would know this because I’ve seen it even in high school. I was once one and no one ever approached me but i decided to take action one day and I began to befriend other loners. Soon after that we became a group of real friends. Some of these loners appear scary and gloomy but you’d be surprised how cool they are once you get them to open up. However there are some that will never open up because they aren’t ready to take that step yet even if someone else makes the first move. Haha I wish I’d known this back in middle school. But hey I just hope you can find my advice useful as I kind of know what its like to be in your shoes. School was really hectic for me so I get really passionate about helping the underdogs. If you ever need any more advice just ask around.
I’ve never been one for small talk. Most people bore me. If you try to talk about something real, people don’t want to hear it. Might as well talk to a wall.