I ALMOST LOST HIM.

Him. My best friend, my only love, my everything. I almost lost him to a shot in the head.
I wasn’t allowed to see him in ICU today and I almost replicated his actions just get myself in there next to him.
I am excruciating pain but i know he is too. Emotional pain and physical. I’ve cursed myself over and over for letting him go. Lying to myself that i do not need him and yet he is my support and my back bone.
He isn’t happy. Darning himself for being so careless with his act, cursing himself for being so useless he failed at his own suicide mission. BUT I am not. Love is letting the person you love be happy but his happiness is not me, its not here, from anyone nor anything. I want him to be happy but at the same time I want him to be with me.
I can’t sleep nor can i concentrate because,
I NEED HIM.
I LOVE HIM
FOREVER AND ALWAYS
DON’T LEAVE. IT WASN’T YOUR TIME.
FOREVER AND ALWAYS J, NEVER FORGET.
I LOVE YOU