I need to be a human.

hey everybody,can you help me this time?this time my problem is not about my parents hating me or my overweight or friends and people around me ,this time my problem is that i lost my feelings ,dad was about to die, mother freaked everything out and finally they separated,if it was the old me ,i would have died to hear such news.if it was the new me ,i would have been very happy .but guess what?i did not give a fuck about this sometimes I wonder if someone has stolen my heart?where had all my feelings gone?right now i rarely cry ,but when i do,i cry because of my crush and this slut who is supposed to be his girlfriend,okay that breaks my heart every time i remember it ,i used to have Epileptic seizures,i get angry every time i remember how fucked up my life is then i start to shout and break everything,i am kinda bipolar by the way,i think that i am no longer bipolar,have i told you about this before? so anyway i just need to feel normal ,i always believed that god will help me but right now i do not pray in the first place ,i need to believe in god again ,i need to have feelings,i need to laugh or even cry ,i need to be a human,can anyone help me?