into the past

As a child i was always harrased and bullied by kids and elders. I never said anything. Never told anybody. Got beaten up by dad now and then for small mistakes. Wud fall sick all the time. Never had any interest in studies apart from drawing. Was sent to boarding school. got beaten up by teachers and class mates. Life was miserable at a point that i never even wanted to exist. Was child molested by a cousin. Was never actually loved by anyone i think. My elder sisters were always busy in themsel,f they were smart enough to change there thngs. I failed. They loved me but i was still niglected at a point where i was just lonely. It was terrible. Was it my mistake that i was too quiet and afraid of saying anything to anybody? Now when i am an adult i think about it n i feel sorry for myself. Was it really me who could have changed any of it?