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I did it and I hate myself

by My life is over

I tried to kill myself last night and failed I tried to slit my wrist and did not cut deep enough and I was sent to the hospital for critical care. My family knows I’m alive. To those who think life can end with one shot, or twenty pills, it can’t God has a plan for all of us and that plan heaven or hell will come true with gods WILL. So don’t do it I was one of the lucky ones who lived and feels terrible for what I did. The hospital let me put this up with pain. They wounds where not deep enough to die I wish they had I got new pills for my feet. Time to take them

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7 comments

fally 6/7/2017 - 4:39 pm

I knew this story’s ending was going to be this.

Chip 6/7/2017 - 6:27 pm

It’s obviously been quite a day for you. I’m saddened that life’s experience has been what it has been for you. In the down time between hating yourself and other thought processes, just remember we are all here, with you, struggling and muddling imperfectly, living in this crazy world to the best of our abilities, abilities of varying strengths. You don’t need to hate yourself, but that is much easier said than done, right? If you believe in God’s will, then you must ask ” Why am I here, today?”, and then set about looking for the answer to that question, trusting in God to lead you. Look for reason, and know that finding it will be a journey, at times, of more pain, and also of triumphs and joy mixed in.

My life is over 6/7/2017 - 6:38 pm

When you wake up every morning wishing you could just sleep forever never wake up and die, my entire life has been taken away from me. Friends family, so life could be next. Can I still go to heaven if I commit suicied and then never wake up. I hate my life it’s so bad it can’t get better

Chip 6/7/2017 - 7:47 pm

It’s a *****, life is. I have different beliefs than you, I cannot answer your question about the afterlife and suicide. I have a difficult time believing a loving God would punish you for having difficulty in a world he placed you in, when he does not step in to provide assistance, only let’s you struggle. You do not have an easy road ahead of you. You can only be expected to continue on, sometimes blindly, if you can. There are no clear, obvious answers in this life. Waking up every morning wishing you could die is a reaction to the conditions you deal with and a testament to the fact that these conditions are taking a heavy toll on you. Wanting to die is a means of providing yourself with a viable option to escape the life you are struggling with. This is something many, many of us do. I wish to die, I wish to sleep without waking, but until that time comes, in whatever form it takes, we are only left with the option of living, and that’s not the easy option, but it has its rewards over time. Remember, you believe God has brought you to today. Ask him why, but do not expect a loud, immediate reply – there may not be one. The reply may come in a year, or five years, or twenty years, and it will be an obvious reply when you are ready to receive it. This is the nature of the universe, of God. We are thrown here, vulnerable and fearful, and asked to do the almost impossible – Figure out why.

Today, tonight, tomorrow, don’t try to make sense of all my mumbo jumbo. Take care of you. Cry, sleep, toss and turn and think, do what you need to do right now. You are as good a human being as you can be. Situations have handed you more than you can process. You are not as bad as you think you are, you, like all of us, are a struggling soul and time to heal, think and live will see you through. But it will be a continued struggle, and the longer you fight, the stronger and more capable of handling it you will become.

My life is over 6/7/2017 - 11:57 pm

The only way to happiness is pain

If I kill myself all will suffer all but me
If I don’t no one will suffer no one but me

halfleft 6/12/2017 - 6:13 pm

Well said Chip. I don’t want to hear it at all, I just want out now, but it sounds true.

ibrkuy22 6/22/2017 - 3:35 pm

Sorry.

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