I’m a loser
June 8th, 2017by gioia
I study a subject in the medical field. It’s a very tough university program in which one relies a lot on the professors and whether they like you or not.
You have to be there all the time. And I just can’t. I am scared of failing. But I am failing because I am scared. There are days I just can’t get out of the bed, even though I know the consequences.
So now I’m about to fail a very important course the second time. It started out great in the beginning, I worked faster and was motivated and tried to always smile and be extremely polite. It was utterly exhausting but I really tried to hold on.
But now it’s falling apart.
I don’t know if I’ve got a depression, i am too scared to ask my parents for therapy -they don’t know about the abuse from my ex or how badly I’m dealing with everything but my medical insurance is linked to theirs; so they’d know if I went to a therapist. I am too scared to go to self help groups, there are too many people.
I don’t know how to help myself, I’m so ashamed when I go to university and see myself falling behind everyone else. But not going makes me feel like the laziest loser on earth.
I really want to make it through that university subject but I also realize if I am not able to change something about my situation I will drop out.
I thought about taking a break and taking care of my mental health for one semester and earn some money but then I would have to definitely talk with my parents and I have no idea how to start that conversation.
Has anybody here gone through something similar? How do you start this talk?
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Jun 08, 2017 @ 10:06:11
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Jun 08, 2017 @ 10:08:51
I’m on a break from doing school work til I can get myself in some order, and it makes things easier in some ways.
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Jun 08, 2017 @ 11:55:15
The truth is that people who notice when they need help, and ask for it until they get it (and I mean help that actually works, because otherwise it isn’t help) do better than the rest of us.
At least that is my belief.
If you can avoid it, I wouldn’t drop out or pause your course. Be as imperfectionist as you can about it. I have dropped out so many times because I felt overwhelmed and that I couldn’t possibly catch up, but guess what? Usually a lot of people want to see you succeed. And it’s no good dropping out whenever there’s a crisis.
If at all possible, it’s best to get as much help as possible and just try to muddle through.
Hugs
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Jun 08, 2017 @ 12:30:02
And I agree with muspelhem; if possible don’t drop out or give up. If you can get useful help, keep at it and do your best.
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