I told my therapist I was having a hard time telling people I was fine and smiling, even in casual encounters. She told me I should “Fake it till ya make it!”
Yes. But there should have been more to it than that. She should have provided a framework of things to do while you fake it – take your meds, meditate, journal your feelings, explore issues of abuse or abandonment, etc and etc.
Fake It Till You Make It has a great sound, but it isn’t necessarily what is going on. A better way of putting it is Practice Till You Master It. If you want to be completely honest then wear a psychological equivalent of a Student Driver Sign: Depressed Human Being Learning More Effective Coping Strategies and Finding Happiness Despite Crushing Despair.
Y’all need to realize that walking around depressed is a lie, too. The world is neither as shitty as we think it is when we are in the grips of despair nor as bright and shiny as we think it is when we are high on positive emotions.
Shitty thoughts breed shitty expectations which are quickly confirmed leading to more shitty thoughts. There is a decent body of good literature that indicates forcing yourself to stop shitty thinking and practicing positive, hopeful thinking can change things for the better.
Your mileage may vary. Brain chemical imbalances are often a factor as well.
One alternative treatment I have personally tried is hard, daily exercise (loading and unloading trucks). After 4 weeks I felt normal. After 8 weeks I was so high on endorphins that all my troubles floated away in a warm pink cloud.
It sounds like there are many, even most, situations where you are right. Maybe I should have made my own circumstance more clear. Anyway, My therapist has just informed me that the severity of my situation is over her head, and is passing me off. I am glad your troubles floated away.
Troubles only floated away for a year. Then I had to take care of my dad while he was dying. We ate apple pie every night and I gained 50 pounds. Problems floated back down in a gray cloud after he died. So it goes. Back to faking it for me… and it kinda-sorta works.
“the severity of my situation is over her head” = She just figured out you are REALLY depressed or you told her about forcing hedgehogs to play trombones for your own sick amusement.
Good luck with the next therapist. Maybe they will get someone that is more proactive.
I’ve been on the other side of mental illness. That strategy works for some people. Trying doesn’t make you a liar. At least not more than anyone else is. Was the happiness you lost a lie? Or is the despair you feel now the real lie? In the end I don’t think that matters. Live by whatever concept allows you some peace.
we think other people have the answers, but they don’t. the most anyone can do is listen and offer advice that they think would work. we look for ultimatums, but i think the tragedy is that there aren’t any. call me an absurdist, but… that’s exactly what it looks like.
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Yes. But there should have been more to it than that. She should have provided a framework of things to do while you fake it – take your meds, meditate, journal your feelings, explore issues of abuse or abandonment, etc and etc.
Fake It Till You Make It has a great sound, but it isn’t necessarily what is going on. A better way of putting it is Practice Till You Master It. If you want to be completely honest then wear a psychological equivalent of a Student Driver Sign: Depressed Human Being Learning More Effective Coping Strategies and Finding Happiness Despite Crushing Despair.
Y’all need to realize that walking around depressed is a lie, too. The world is neither as shitty as we think it is when we are in the grips of despair nor as bright and shiny as we think it is when we are high on positive emotions.
Shitty thoughts breed shitty expectations which are quickly confirmed leading to more shitty thoughts. There is a decent body of good literature that indicates forcing yourself to stop shitty thinking and practicing positive, hopeful thinking can change things for the better.
Your mileage may vary. Brain chemical imbalances are often a factor as well.
One alternative treatment I have personally tried is hard, daily exercise (loading and unloading trucks). After 4 weeks I felt normal. After 8 weeks I was so high on endorphins that all my troubles floated away in a warm pink cloud.
It sounds like there are many, even most, situations where you are right. Maybe I should have made my own circumstance more clear. Anyway, My therapist has just informed me that the severity of my situation is over her head, and is passing me off. I am glad your troubles floated away.
Troubles only floated away for a year. Then I had to take care of my dad while he was dying. We ate apple pie every night and I gained 50 pounds. Problems floated back down in a gray cloud after he died. So it goes. Back to faking it for me… and it kinda-sorta works.
“the severity of my situation is over her head” = She just figured out you are REALLY depressed or you told her about forcing hedgehogs to play trombones for your own sick amusement.
Good luck with the next therapist. Maybe they will get someone that is more proactive.
Sounds like she wants to place you into the system. Hate that advice, when everyone does it, then we’ll all fakers.
That was my feeling too, that every interaction then starts with a lie. Also with what I am going through it seems impossible.
I’ve been on the other side of mental illness. That strategy works for some people. Trying doesn’t make you a liar. At least not more than anyone else is. Was the happiness you lost a lie? Or is the despair you feel now the real lie? In the end I don’t think that matters. Live by whatever concept allows you some peace.
I’ve gotten that advice before, reason being that I have been negative for so long that being positive was foreign to me.
Depends on the context.
E.g. you shouldn’t fake it in front of your therapist. Because you want her to help you.
But if you’re attending a wedding, and the bride asks how you’re doing, that might not be the best time to take an emotional dump on her.
we think other people have the answers, but they don’t. the most anyone can do is listen and offer advice that they think would work. we look for ultimatums, but i think the tragedy is that there aren’t any. call me an absurdist, but… that’s exactly what it looks like.
correction: not “ultimatums” but “absolute truth”.