Thinking about ending it, I’m just so sick physically I can’t do anything; my emotional state isnt too bad, and mentally I’m just spent. I don’t think this is caused by being emotionally unstable, I think that I would have acted by now if it was. If anything its either for something to do, or to end my pain.
My biggest concern is failing and ending up blind, and from what I have read it’s not the most pleasant way to go, but it has a high fatality rate which is good.
One of my biggest reasons to not go through with it is the financial burden a funeral will place on my family. I’m not too caught up on how they will fair emotionally as none of them seem to care much about my well being as it is, so what should they care if I’m dead. Pretty sure my dog will take it the worst. I’ve tried reaching out to family and friends, but it just seems like none of them care. Hell, my family acts like I can’t do anything right.
My physical health is deteriorating to the point that keeping food down is a success, and I don’t see that getting better as its been getting worse for weeks now. I’ve thought about seeing a Dr about it, but my pcp is an ass who wold probably just ignore it instead of doing something to address the problem. My sleep is unpredictable to put it best, so I never know when I’m going to fall asleep.
So I’m not sure where to go from here, suggestions?
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I am in the same boat
No one will miss me but I stay alive for my cat, she would be completely lost without me
I’m like her mother…. she is so attached to me, she is always with me and cries when I am gone…. I feel terrible that I can’t afford to get her medicine for her infections and I can’t give her the best cat food for her digestion.
But I’ve had and lost a lot of cats in the past and they seemed to live on without me.
As for a financial burden? I don’t know I always just emited that part from my suicidal plan, because I just assumed…. body in ditch, in a forest somewhere… too deep in somewhere no one could ever guess to find me and in my will no funeral no obituary…. being a dependent I don’t know if they would actually get more money from it than lose because they would no longer have to pay health insurance or my court fines or feed me or my car insurance or data. kind of like a runaway train.