Lol you should never have asked that question! I’m quite interested in this subject.
So loneliness is a subjective feeling of disconnection from others. Our need for social connection is individual, and loneliness is 48% genetical. Some people need to be around others all the time, others prefer more time to themselves. Being isolated can be lonely, but so can being smothered.
Loneliness makes your body and mind feel threatened. It’s dangerous to be disconnected from your tribe. This has consequences:
Your social cognition changes. You start to experience social situations tinted with a negative bias. So you will notice more bad things people do, and you will judge those bad things as worse too. At the same time, you become more sensitive to rejection. So basically, you become more needy, but also more of a pain in the ass to be around.
It’s good that you become more needy; loneliness is like hunger, it’s a signal to reconnect with others.
Another thing that happens is that your cortisol (stress) levels rise. If you’re separated from your tribe, you need to be ready to face threats alone. Even at night. So your sleep suffers, and your blood pressure goes up. Long-term loneliness is as deadly as smoking cigarettes.
Also, your immune function suffers. This is probably because being in the tribe meant you needed a strong immune system because of the bugs you got exposed to from others. But being separated from the tribe, this is put on hold. Which is obviously potentially dangerous too.
To cure loneliness, use John Cacioppo’s acronym: E.A.S.E.
[E]xtend yourself – make the first move, maybe even volunteer for a meaningful cause
[A]ction plan – make a plan for reconnecting with others
[S]elect – be selective when choosing who to spend time with
[E]xpect the best – expect goodwill from others
There is ample evidence supporting the notion that sexually active partners live longer and report higher levels of happiness in the days after having sex.
Figure out someplace you’d rather live, and move there ASAP. Experiment. Sooner or later, you’ll end up somewhere good.
With regards to people, try making a list of the five people you spend most time with. Then, for each one, figure out if they generally bring you up or down. If they bring you down, spend less time with them. If they bring you up, spend more time with them. Do this regularly.
And a good way of meeting people to connect with is to find something you like doing, and then do it with others. Join a group or a club, or start one.
Realize though, that when the newness of a new location wears off, all your demons will be sitting there waiting for you. Moving doesn’t fix issues, it’s just a temporary distraction, but I recommend it if you are able.
Just because you are in a prolonged relationship doesnt mean you aren’t lonely or alone. Ive never felt more lonely or alone and ive been with the same person for 8 years. So you cant equate the two.
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I read in Psychology Today August issue that loneliness drives several health issues including premature death for about 14% of it’s sufferers.
Lol you should never have asked that question! I’m quite interested in this subject.
So loneliness is a subjective feeling of disconnection from others. Our need for social connection is individual, and loneliness is 48% genetical. Some people need to be around others all the time, others prefer more time to themselves. Being isolated can be lonely, but so can being smothered.
Loneliness makes your body and mind feel threatened. It’s dangerous to be disconnected from your tribe. This has consequences:
Your social cognition changes. You start to experience social situations tinted with a negative bias. So you will notice more bad things people do, and you will judge those bad things as worse too. At the same time, you become more sensitive to rejection. So basically, you become more needy, but also more of a pain in the ass to be around.
It’s good that you become more needy; loneliness is like hunger, it’s a signal to reconnect with others.
Another thing that happens is that your cortisol (stress) levels rise. If you’re separated from your tribe, you need to be ready to face threats alone. Even at night. So your sleep suffers, and your blood pressure goes up. Long-term loneliness is as deadly as smoking cigarettes.
Also, your immune function suffers. This is probably because being in the tribe meant you needed a strong immune system because of the bugs you got exposed to from others. But being separated from the tribe, this is put on hold. Which is obviously potentially dangerous too.
To cure loneliness, use John Cacioppo’s acronym: E.A.S.E.
[E]xtend yourself – make the first move, maybe even volunteer for a meaningful cause
[A]ction plan – make a plan for reconnecting with others
[S]elect – be selective when choosing who to spend time with
[E]xpect the best – expect goodwill from others
Well done muspelhem.
Cheers 😀
There is ample evidence supporting the notion that sexually active partners live longer and report higher levels of happiness in the days after having sex.
Reminds me of that song: “I Just Had Sex (and It Felt So Good)”
Much as I loathe Akon, I have to give it to him: That song was at once hilarious and crystallized what he is all about, namely: not much.
I don’t like the city I live in, the people, my neighbours, some of my relatives. What should I do?
Figure out someplace you’d rather live, and move there ASAP. Experiment. Sooner or later, you’ll end up somewhere good.
With regards to people, try making a list of the five people you spend most time with. Then, for each one, figure out if they generally bring you up or down. If they bring you down, spend less time with them. If they bring you up, spend more time with them. Do this regularly.
I don’t know where should I go
And a good way of meeting people to connect with is to find something you like doing, and then do it with others. Join a group or a club, or start one.
Groups and hobby clubs still exist?
Take a class at your local gym. Join a choir. Join a book club. A sports team. A fan club. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. The possibilities are endless.
Realize though, that when the newness of a new location wears off, all your demons will be sitting there waiting for you. Moving doesn’t fix issues, it’s just a temporary distraction, but I recommend it if you are able.
It depends on what is causing your issues. The world is varied. Some environments will likely suit you better than others.
How do I figure out where should I move?
Just because you are in a prolonged relationship doesnt mean you aren’t lonely or alone. Ive never felt more lonely or alone and ive been with the same person for 8 years. So you cant equate the two.