I spend my entire nights praying not to wake up in the morning only to discover that life clings to me like a disease. I want the pain, I want the persistent suffering and I want this life to be finally over. I haven’t left my house in years and when I do go out it’s for doctor’s appointments. My body wastes away from the disease, I drool from my mouth and lately, my mind is beginning to fade away. The boredom is chronic and the impotence unbearable that I scream but nobody can hear me. I feel abandoned and left behind. All I ever wanted was to be special and gifted.
Just please let me die already! I have lived longer than most and I just want it over! I just want to make it stop.
2 comments
Your not alone. I’ve wished I could just die so many time I’ve lost count….unfortunately, someone’s always ‘rescued’ me (I almost drowned but was saved). You are unique, your pain, your suffering…it makes you different from so many people, this life is just a curse, a twisted experiment in my opinion. Your helpless almost all the time, and then pain and misery become your only companions…your not left behind, there are people on the same edge of constant pain and hurt…you have to choose between jumping to safety or falling down to the edge….you can’t keep clinging, it’s the worst position for anyone to be.
I wish you well, either that be peace in death or desire in life.
You know how to make it stop, if you want another solution we should talk, I can offer advice and such, just talk in general, it might help you a little bit to get your thoughts and feelings out and have someone else try and break them down for you, it’s a daunting task to attempt alone. Feel free to reach out to me.