I’ve been really depressed and suicidal lately. I’m almost 26 and I work in fast food with no career. I have a certificate in software engineering and applied for a course at a company which can land me a job there afterwards. It made me happier for a while after I was contacted and invited for an interview, but today less than 2 hours ago I started feeling like crap again. At this point I feel like crying. I have a shift in 2 hours and I DON’T WANT TO GO THERE!! I don’t want to go to that f-ed up place and shitty job. 🙁
The technical interview was yesterday (my first ever interview). They wanted to schedule an interview with HR for today but I thought it would be overwhelming, so they said they will contact me to schedule an interview for next week.
This is a real opportunity but I keep worrying and obsessing about what if it didn’t work. What then? I’ll be back in fast food. I can’t bear this thought, I honestly would rather die and my plan is to end my life before 30 if it didn’t improve. It’s gotten so bad to the point that I believe nothing good is ever going to happen to me and I’ll never be successful. If I didn’t succeed by 25, then I want one reason to believe I’m going to succeed in a few years.
I’m sorry I’ve been posting a lot lately, but my life is becoming unbearable and unlivable, and overall I feel my existence is completely worthless. I was put back on meds but I still haven’t went to buy them yet, and I’m supposed to receive therapy for a year at a reduced cost. Honestly though, I don’t see how all this would help when my life sucks and is an utter mess and failure. It’s too difficult to be constantly feeling this way, I can’t handle it much longer and eventually I’m going to break down and either do something to myself or get hospitalized (which would only hurt me further).
3 comments
@nvm12 –
Dear fellow human: Your life isn’t worthless. NOT-AT-ALL. Every job, ‘little’ or ‘simple’; ‘big’ or ‘complex’, they’re all stepping stones. I JUST posted a video here called “Millennials and Non-Millennials…” that I really encourage you to watch. PLEASE.
Now I will tell you, there are hordes of people who don’t ‘make it’ until way past their 30s or even 40s. You should not be measuring success based on age or academic formation, but by the steps you are willing to take toward whatever REALISTIC goals you set for yourself. That goal can very well be just getting in the morning! You see, it’s baby steps. Short and wobbly everyday. But eventually, you learn to walk, jog, and run, and once running, sometimes you have to slow down or stop, then you walk again before you run again, and so on and so forth.
THAT-IS-LIFE, where the fun and challenge is in the day-to-day.
That place invited you to a second interview? GREAT!!! You progressed through and it was only your FIRST INTERVIEW EVER in that field, and it seems you aced it! You may or may not get the job, but the point is: you have what it takes, and you’re just learning how to walk that path. So enjoy every step of the way.
Here, read this excerpt from a blog by Gina Vaynshteyn:
“he universe glorifies the sparkling, invincible 20s and duly expects every 20-something to seize the day and come up with a million dollar screenplay or iPhone app. We’re at our freshest, most dewy and witty state, so why not? Well, I’m not rich yet. I haven’t been offered a book deal, and I can’t even manage to switch my glasses with contacts because I freak out and start crying when anything touches my eyeballs. Yeah, I’m still patiently waiting for the day I’ll make it.
Which could very well be any day in my 30s. There are actually a LOT of people who worked super hard in their 20s, only to finally gain recognition later on. It’s refreshing to know that success does not always come so quickly; celebrities like Kate Walsh, who scored the role as Dr. Addison Montgomery in Grey’s Anatomy at age 36, give me hope.”
Full post here:
http://hellogiggles.com/success-after-30-11-famous-people-who-made-it-later/
I bet you will get the job.
Good luck with the second interview.