Reasons to live: my parents, the slight possibility that I might miss out on something good, my pets… all those series of my favorite tv shows I’d never see? (I’m pathetic, I know), also the fact that I haven’t figured out a full-proof way to go yet.
Reasons to die: Life is horrible, people are horrible, I hate myself, I’m going nowhere, life is pain.
Reasons to keep living: even though we aren’t close in any way, not even geographically, my 84 year old father. I just feel such guilt when I think of him being told should I go, and I don’t think he could handle that kind of thing and I can’t do it to him.
Reasons to die: poor health my entire life which left me infertile, so I have no kids, bad marriage, isolation for MANY MANY years which has left me with literally no friends or support system, I’m considered too old to do much or get a job should a miracle happen and my health improves – but no worries really on that because I have so many things wrong with me that aren’t curable, I have chronic pain every day and can’t eat like a normal person or sleep like a normal person (so, chronically sleep deprived), my GI system is so F’d up and I’ll leave that topic there but use your imagination and every gross thing you think of IS my daily life. My mom who was my only real friend passed away 3 years ago, both my cats I’d had almost 20 years died in the last two years. I have financial problems and am at poverty level. There is nothing happy or worthwhile anymore in my life, and with my health I can’t do what I’d like to do…or I’m merely grown too old to do a lot of it even if I were perfectly physically healthy. I have no hope and I’m in pain EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m tired.
Hi, thanks for your reply. There are pills for my depression which I’ve tried many and have reactions to, and I don’t really feel comfortable with anti depressants anyway…so many horror stories about them and I didn’t like how they made me feel or their side effects. I do take Ativan for my anxiety but I’ve taken that for over 3 years and it isn’t effective anymore and I don’t want to keep increasing the dosage. My last psych doc wasn’t very helpful in my requests to wean me off them either and I can’t just stop taking them, so for right now it’s like I’m in limbo with them until I get in with a new doc (my old one moved but that’s actually a blessing) and hopefully they’ll get me off of taking the Ativan.
As for my physical health, the diseases I have are a few autoimmune diseases with no ‘cure’ and limited treatments, and multiple abdominal surgeries have left me with so much adhesions and scarring that there’s really nothing further the docs can do other than give me major pain meds. I’ve been against that for over 20 years due to fear of side effects and addiction but my thinking is slowly changing about that in the last year, so maybe I’ll agree to painkillers at some near point in time. I just don’t know yet.
Reason to live: finish and start some projects I would love to do, finish and start books
Reason to die: I can’t escape this place, this is the only way out, and life is horrible in general
12 comments
for me personally. Reasons to keep living: my mother. Reasons to commit suicide: everything else. Yours?
For the moment just this reason to die: tired, bored
Can you communicate with people easily? I think you have the same problems as me
What would you like to talk about?
Reasons to live: my parents, the slight possibility that I might miss out on something good, my pets… all those series of my favorite tv shows I’d never see? (I’m pathetic, I know), also the fact that I haven’t figured out a full-proof way to go yet.
Reasons to die: Life is horrible, people are horrible, I hate myself, I’m going nowhere, life is pain.
Reasons to keep living: not to hurt a couple of people I am attached to. Reason to depart: business failure.
Reasons to keep living: even though we aren’t close in any way, not even geographically, my 84 year old father. I just feel such guilt when I think of him being told should I go, and I don’t think he could handle that kind of thing and I can’t do it to him.
Reasons to die: poor health my entire life which left me infertile, so I have no kids, bad marriage, isolation for MANY MANY years which has left me with literally no friends or support system, I’m considered too old to do much or get a job should a miracle happen and my health improves – but no worries really on that because I have so many things wrong with me that aren’t curable, I have chronic pain every day and can’t eat like a normal person or sleep like a normal person (so, chronically sleep deprived), my GI system is so F’d up and I’ll leave that topic there but use your imagination and every gross thing you think of IS my daily life. My mom who was my only real friend passed away 3 years ago, both my cats I’d had almost 20 years died in the last two years. I have financial problems and am at poverty level. There is nothing happy or worthwhile anymore in my life, and with my health I can’t do what I’d like to do…or I’m merely grown too old to do a lot of it even if I were perfectly physically healthy. I have no hope and I’m in pain EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m tired.
Aren’t there pills for your condition?
Hi, thanks for your reply. There are pills for my depression which I’ve tried many and have reactions to, and I don’t really feel comfortable with anti depressants anyway…so many horror stories about them and I didn’t like how they made me feel or their side effects. I do take Ativan for my anxiety but I’ve taken that for over 3 years and it isn’t effective anymore and I don’t want to keep increasing the dosage. My last psych doc wasn’t very helpful in my requests to wean me off them either and I can’t just stop taking them, so for right now it’s like I’m in limbo with them until I get in with a new doc (my old one moved but that’s actually a blessing) and hopefully they’ll get me off of taking the Ativan.
As for my physical health, the diseases I have are a few autoimmune diseases with no ‘cure’ and limited treatments, and multiple abdominal surgeries have left me with so much adhesions and scarring that there’s really nothing further the docs can do other than give me major pain meds. I’ve been against that for over 20 years due to fear of side effects and addiction but my thinking is slowly changing about that in the last year, so maybe I’ll agree to painkillers at some near point in time. I just don’t know yet.
Thanks again for replying.
Good, i hope things will improve at least a bit.
Reason to live: to smoke weed and drink
Reason to die: everything else
Reason to live: finish and start some projects I would love to do, finish and start books
Reason to die: I can’t escape this place, this is the only way out, and life is horrible in general