I have to say, I have been able to relate to a lot of the things I have seen in here, but since I have never seen anything exactly like my thoughts, I thought I would write out all my questions I have.
Has anyone else ever been so devastated over wanting to be someone else? Like there is this one person you like SO MUCH and you just want to BE that person SO BADLY because you just like their personality so much?
Does anyone else hate God more than just about anything in the world?
Has anyone else felt like they could have accomplished something great if they didn’t have such severe ocd like I do?
Does anyone else hate their life and feel bothered all the time, even if nothing really happens in their life, just because they hate who they are and/or have general anxiety and general things bothering them(without a very eventful life?)
Does anyone else have general anxiety that stops you from being able to get a job? You know, not Anxiety about the job, but just general anxiety in GENERAL?
Anyone else feel like they are the most different person in the entire world and there is not even ONE person JUST like you?
I’m about to say something REALLY messed up.
Anyone ever wish they were suicidal, simply because they think it’s better than having no feelings or being numb, and also because they aren’t used to happiness? Because I have that feeling a lot. I know how fucked up it is, but I still have that feeling.
To Anyone who is a nice person: do you ever wish you WERENT a nice person, simply to fit in with other people?
I also have this serious problem. Basically to make a Long story short; I am always overheated. Every second of every day. This is without a doubt the WORST and hardest problem I deal with in a daily basis. I don’t know WHAT it is that’s causing me to feel this way. It HAS to be a medical condition or something. I have been trying to figure this out for YEARS and I still have no idea what is causing me to feel this way.imagine your skin feeling SO OVERHEATED every SECOND of every day. THIS IS SO UNEXPLAINABLY HORRIBLE THAT I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THIS. every time I go to school, I have to bring a fan with me and use it EVERY day and I also have to constantly put lotion on my arms, because I get so overheated I JUST CANT FUCKING TAKE IT. The other thing about this problem is that it just increases every day. Just try to imagine that. It’s ALREADY at a point where I feel like I can’t handle it, and it keeps ONLY getting worse, so I can’t even IMAGINE how bad it will be in a year from now.
Anyone else have any of these problems?
3 comments
i can relate to nearly every one of these, especially feeling so different from everyone else and no one else being like me. used to think it was all perception as well. wrong.
good post. you should number these. cheers, mate.
I have lashed out at “god” so often it’s funny. Screaming till saliva flies out of my mouth and I become hoarse lashing out. Ripped a bible to pieces, vandalized a church, punched holes in a wall, just nuts in general. When it finally sank in that I wasn’t angry at god but angry at what I was told about god, things became bearable. When it becomes clear that “god” is one of the most highly pondered and theorized about entities ever, and it’s dumb shit humans writing the stories of a “god” that cares, your perspective changes. We’ve created our own inescapable dilemma by possessing brains that need to feel safe and loved, so we created the myriad versions of “god”, and attributed so many wonderful, loving characteristics to it. In other words, we assume, and when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. A simple look around at the world and all of its goings-on for, oh, I don’t know, the past four million years or so should be enough to tell anyone that “god” isn’t going to be riding in on a flaming chariot or descending in a cloud to spare us anytime soon. It’s a big universe and the suffering of one species (humans) is about as meaningful to “god” as an ant with a headache is to you and me. We exist, ants and humans, in a system designed to include suffering, and there are no supernatural deities keeping tabs on us.
I’m not trying to be funny or condescending, but just suggesting you examine why you’re angry at “god.” What has “god” ever done to you or me? Nothing. On the flip side, what has man made organized religion told the world for centuries now? That “god” cares and wants to deliver us from evil, amen. Who lied to whom?
I’ll answer two, rather than giving a point by point.
1) Nope, I don’t hate God at all. If he exists, the most I could say about him is that I’m quite disappointed in his lack of development and forethought. It’s like he forgot that the things he makes should make sense in a consistent way.
2) I used to be a nice person, but then I spent a bunch of time with a whole lot of other people. I also lost my marble somewhere along the way, so it’s possible I just forgot what a nice person is, and I actually am one despite everything. I have no way to tell.