I have a long string of failures following me. I should just turn that mother fucker into noose and just end it.
I can’t get over how I told my mother I was suicidal when the shit hit the fan and she like waved it off. Its been over a year since everything and she decided to bring it while I was in a good mood. Its like she only brought up to make sure she got something off her chest. Throwing blame and trying to become a victim of somthing. While I sat there saying yep I wanted kill myself to still kinda do. Depends in the day really.
She just condemed me and made fun and then end if story no help . pretty sure I have severe depression and mental damage. Only person I can blame is myself not for being strong . for not being what my ex inlaws wanted for what my ex husband wanted, that made them all hate me. And allowing my self to break so easily .
I’m in a relationship now and how he likes me I don’t know why. I have failed him time after time and have not shown him he can trust me financially to be some one he can marry but he dose. I have no fucking idea why?
I’m just miserable. I don’t understand why I can’t change .
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Everyday I want to kill myself. I have about 4 million reasons but most of them like the top five has to do with my mother or you can say my parents in general both. but my dad’s not around anymore so I’m going to just leave him out and deal with him when I pass on to the other side which may soon come. I don’t know what relationships are like I’ve never been in one in my entire life I’m an adult just like you mid twenties I’m guessing LOL but you seem to have one thing that’s going you seem to have a person in your life who really appreciates you and wants you despite what you say or feel about yourself. I feel like parents especially mothers they only just see what their life is about what they went through what they did with the lalalalala that’s all bull crap they already have liveed their life they had already their kids their careers they just got to focus on their children or if they can’t they just have to leave them alone plain and simple