I’m old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I’m old enough to know that death isn’t the answer… but I’m also old enough to know I’ve run out of options. My relationship is ending, I’m losing my job, I’m homeless. I’m a burden to my family, I’m a burden to my friends. I’ve been in a state of despair for months, holding on to what I can, trying to find any hand to hold onto but they all slip away. Everyone says it’ll get better… I’ve been waiting and I’m done waiting. I’ve waited my entire life for everything but this time I’m not waiting for happiness to return. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore and all anyone can tell me to do is to keep holding on, my hands are tired. My heart is tired, my mind is exhausted and my body aches from the internal strife manifesting itself as pain.
To my family, I’m sorry your oldest son wasn’t strong enough. To my friends, I’m sorry I didn’t laugh more. To my ex, I’m sorry I loved you more than you thought you deserved.
This is the one thing I have control of in my life anymore, everything else has been taken from me. I’m just sad no one took my life too.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I can’t do it anymore, I can’t do this anymore.
Thank you for reading, I feel better but this won’t stop the pain from coming back tomorrow.
5 comments
I know how you feel
we all should have been stronger but weren’t
Stepping into oblivion requires as much strength as living — browse the posts on this site and you will notice how hard it is for everyone to let go.
So it might not mean much to you, but know that somewhere in the world there is someone who doesn’t think you are weak just because you considered or in fact decided it was the time to leave.
I just want someone to do it with
I just want someone to do it with