My married sister with 3 children visited us and stayed over for the night they rarely ever come since they live in New York and today I took my niece’s out to the park we got ice cream and of course as some of you know about my story about my past. I’m 26 going to 27 in Dec(which might not happen) even still never been in a relationship in serious debt hated by my family because at the moment I can’t support them like the way I was doing before besides myself since I’m in debt and make minimum wage. there’s just so much storyline into it I have a old post from last year it says about 3/4 of my story it all has all my pictures everything provided but
anyways what I wanted to share was as my sister was leaving I was telling her “if there is something you want to tell me if there is a comment that you want to make about me I’d suggest you tell me cuz now is the time” she laughed and she said “why you’re going to kill yourself” and I just Shrugged it off playing along with her little sarcasm laughing “hahaha who knows when you’ll visit again” my married sister knows that my mother and I don’t talk along with my other sister. But in truth I obviously actually am thinking about killing myself. but ofcourse she doesn’t know that and I’m just like okay goodbye as I was heading for the garage back into the house.
7 comments
Why did you get into serious debt at such a young age?
Excellent question it is a very long answer so I’m just going to give you a link of a post that I made here about a year ago it gives full details about how I got into debt there are pictures and screenshots provided here is the link htps://suicideproject.org/2017/01/this-70-my-story-and-why-i-am-called-sadlife958/ god bless
Reading this made me very sad, knowing how well you ‘fooled’ your sister. Fooled in quotes because I’m sure you’ve given her all the signs but some people choose to believe everything is just fine. I am in the same situation as you. Even when I try to get serious about dying, everyone thinks I’m joking so I let it drop. Suicide is a very lonely place isnt it?
It’s the easiest sanerio to believe in someone that everything is just fine. Besides I honestly wouldn’t want her knowing how serious I am because then I will have a tougher time going through with things. Sad is life for most we can just express it
Probably cuz the whole damn system revolves around creating it.
For people who never thought about suicide, this is a subject they simply don’t know how to deal with. People have all sorts of misconceptions about it and it makes their understanding of the matter so hazy that sometimes they are unable to realize what is obvious to us. How many times haven’t you read in the news about someone who comitted suicide and their relatives or friends were saying things such as “he was such a great guy, always smiling”. For them, if you are not sad crying and rotting in your bedroom, there is no reason to think you’d kill yourself.
I know it’s cliche to say but you’ve been through so much already (based on past posts and everything) and I feel like it’s all made you strong and I know wanting to give up and family members seeing past injuries. Even my mom has depression too but suicide is so foreign to her so she refuses to see how hurt I am. But you should see how strong you are for making it this far and I believe you can keep going…Im sorry I know that’s not what you want to hear and i’d be annoyed if someone said that to me but I just wanted to say that. I’m young and am losing all my money and credit too so i guess i just want to know that you’re still trying too so i have courage too….sorry