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I’ve been around this project for a while but I did never have the energy to post, today’s am feeling bit better and that’s why I grabbed the opportunity to write.

I feel like having a whole population in my head, each person trying to make it theirs, looking from outside I have the best family and a prosperous future, but no one ever asked if I am really happy about it.

my parents ruined my life with their fucking ideal principles, : you should not do this, school before friends, school before hanging out, shcool school school and then school, ok I secured my future but then what? they destroyed my life, in my 30s still single, no friends no life at all. is having good grades will make us happy? definetly not, in my 30s and still struggling to cut ties with them, they created psychological bounds, now am insomniac, buliamic, stressed, anxious, bipolar… am thinking about what if I commit suicide? will I be missed? certainly not, my presence is nothingness itself, am nothing am a dying soul and that’s reality


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muspelhem 12/12/2017 - 11:05 am

Doing well academically and career-wise is certainly laudable, but apart from that it seems like dumb advice.

I feel like people skills are key to everything and the lack thereof a primary reason why my life has been such a failure.

But don’t give up. If you can learn academic subjects, you can learn to socialize as well. Just start at the level you’re at and then gradually challenge yourself a little more, then a little more, and so on.

Me, I’m working on just making eye contact with people. That is where I am at. Pretty basic stuff…

nutjobcantlove 12/12/2017 - 12:08 pm

You’re not alone in this. We’re in the same boat. My parents never let me live a life like every other normal person does. I was always under the pressure to score in exams, I was put to shame if I ever interacted with the opposite sex, never had fun, no road trips, no get together with friends, actually I did nothing that sounds fun. I graduated, I started working, I come home to this empty apartment where I cry until I sleep. Yea some ppl say I’m attractive and I’ll find someone soon and all that bullshit but here I am still single.
I can totally understand how you feel.
No advice no tips to feel better. Cause nothin could make me feel better. No one is there to miss me either. Some ppl in my family don’t even know if I am dead or alive.
I just keep pushing everyday. The empty feeling kills me every night.
Some of us are born to live this way.
Live for yourself.

Drained-Blast 12/12/2017 - 6:15 pm

that’s exactly my life! but am getting tired without seeing the end of the tunnel. it would be much better if I leave all behind I would not like to finish my life rotting in an empty apartment

ninanomore 12/13/2017 - 4:55 pm

Dear Drain-Blast, Sounds to me like you’ve got it figured out. Taking action isn’t always easy. Especially if it means distancing yourself from parents. There could be guilt involved, or shame, or any number of unsavory emotions. 30 is young. Young young young. Try to give yourself a break. Are you able to imagine a life without your parent’s voices in your head? Do you feel a measure of relief in contemplating this? It’s heart-breaking to hear that you might be feeling trapped. Suicide may seem like a way to free yourself. But so might ‘decent but distant’ to a taper/fade. But this is me interpreting your post rather specifically and if I’m off by even a hair, never mind me. If there’s a measure of truth to what I’m interpreting, imagine channeling the energy your channeling towards your parents, to something else . A meet-up. Many meet-ups. A hiking group? Knitting circle? Sheez, I dunno, I don’t know what’s gotten buried beneath the parental rubble, but start digging girl. See what gives. Huggs

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