Hey, good week everyone.
Hope you guys do well.
This post I’m addressing to any reader with a question :
In the end of the day, you are still alive. How come? How did you make it through? you are more than welcome sharing to me your secret.
I’m a little bit of suicidal now…
So freaking terrored by the idea of not making it through.
I see the following week and I’m disgusted of my life.
It’s going to be a tough time for me.
I never hoped to get this lonely, but here and there, life has brought me here.
Will I make it through, like you do?
Will I one day, stand in my house, with a happy smile, gazing upon my thoughts, seeing how broken hearted I was years ago, and to where I’ve got now.
There is a saying that goes like “training is hard, but war is easy”
No one told me how hard “training” can be. No one alerted me what my decisions held in them. I have so much responsibility, and so little means to deal with.
I feel mentally broken, almost mentally ill. I’m in deep anxiety, but fighting the urge to feel so. I’m talking rapidly to myself, and focusing on my homework and studies, but meanwhile I’m losing my sanity. Just 3 more years till the end, will I fucking make it?
Our society forgot one thing. it’s really easy to cry about something, just as easy as stating a solution. But making it through the day is the hard part. Making it through all of the “damn” failures, through all of the “lost loves”, lack of socially friendships and lack of company.
I have so much hate growling in me. I envy so much but can’t have none.
I find myself standing against many moral aspects, helpless.
I won’t give any details of what are my problems, because I don’t belive you should know what they are, since you won’t be able to help with them.
But I’ll give you the idea of how bad I feel. the fact that someone read this, and comment – it really helps.
And as for answering my own question – You guys, are what helping me go through.
Be brave, stay strong, yours Jac.