I just don’t understand. I don’t want to live, so why do people not want me to die? Why do they feel bad for you when you try to kill yourself? It’s stupid. Seriously, I want to die, so shouldn’t they be happy? Don’t they say that happiness is the most important thing and if dying is what I truly want, why not let me? Why do you people have to act like your suicide attempt was wrong and that you should live. I don’t want to, is it that hard to understand?
Seriously, if it wasn’t for my family, I would kill myself every time I had the chance to.
I hate life, I hate my friends, I hate the human race, but what I hate the most is myself and my damned Asperger.
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I believe for some suicide is the right choice so I totally understand you on that. I have known that my destiny is suicide since I was a child. I have nothing keeping me wanting to live, I have no family and frankly do not understand people who say “I stay alive for my family” but random strangers call me in and use force on me when I least expect it. I mean, one way or another I’m going to kill myself. It’s just a torturous prolonging of the inevitable….. I know in my heart they are losers with nothing other to do than spite me with having large policeman attack me.
The only reason I am alive now is because I have a DUI which means I have to 1) piss in a cup weekly to check my piss for drugs – I haven’t done drugs since December last year – yet I still have to piss weekly. – Drugs were the only enjoyable recreation in my life. 2) Pay off the 5,000$ fine (I have no income for last 4 years… thank you very much…) 3) a probation appointment every month.
These cops and probation officers scare the sh*t out of me and freak me the f*ck out. I was one mile from my home when they gave me DUI. I was ONE MILE from HOME.
Well the home I knew I had to leave soon or I would drive myself to suicide every day I lived there.
If I didn’t have to piss in a cup weekly I would leave on foot and live in the mountains no shelter. Then I might be safe. I could never be safe here. It is f*g hell.
I thought others would be happy for me when I finally escaped the f*g hell by suicide. No…. I couldn’t find anyone who understood the relief of a bullet through the brain killing you.
I read your post and holy sh*t your life right now must be a pain in the ass.
I do stay alive for my family though. I know at least my mom, dad and sister will be pretty sad. I saw my dad cry for the first time in my life after my first suicide attempt, which I was suprised by. I mean, he always acted like he didn’t really care, but yeah.
Anyway, I hope you’ll be happy one day. Whether it’s by dying or finally having something good in life..
Good luck!
I thought I deserved good things and I thought the worst thing that would happen is begging for death at 13 years old.but no, it got much much worse. I blame the environment I suppose
yeah aspergers is a right pain in the arse. i’ve got it too
Well, I got diagnosed recently, but it gave an answer to why I always felt like an alien stranded on earth.
What is asperger? It is not rare to read here that someone have it, but I have never searched it. Is it like autism?
It’s like a mild form of autism. People usually function relatively well.
Asperger is, just like spreject said, a form of autism. It can range from mild-functioning to “high”-functioning. Autism itself just means that your brain developed differentally than that of “normal” people.
So basically it means that you see things in a different way than others, that you don’t now how to socialize with others (one of my worst traits), etc.
The seemingly ubiquitous prevention of self dispatch is pervasive. Every conceivable barrier has been put up in last the 50 years. How it benefits society to lock miserable people into living, sometimes literally, is beyond comprehension. I usually figure it is them, not me, that keeps me breathing and typing.
– People assume the thoughts are a result of mental illness, not a decision
you’d make regardless.
– If you’re dead you can’t work, pay taxes, or buy overpriced goods.
– Dissuades other people from attempting. If there were an easier way out, maybe people who aren’t currently depressed/suicidal decide they’ve had enough.
– Reminds non suicidal people of their own mortality. A majority of people don’t really want to die even if they aren’t happy. If you die prematurely, it’s more about their own fear of dying and how they’ll be remembered.
Are you still there?