Feelings tonight..

  February 12th, 2018 by his_fallen_angel

I feel as if I do not matter. What is the difference I make in this world? Other than the immediate people I see everyday such as my Fiancé  and my parents, who would really miss my presence?

Life is just a joke. A Big fucking joke. The way society is, having to be skinny with a big ass and tits and your considered “Beautiful”? FUCK THAT. FUCK the image society has branded into our minds. No one will ever be truly perfect. I look at myself everyday and just hate the person I see. Oh how I wish I could be the “perfect “ woman. After seeing the girls Fiancé  had looked at, killed me. Slowly from the inside out. It hurts. Feeling like you would never be good enough. I get so sad sometimes I cry, and hurt myself because I could never be what those girls are. The pain that follows me everyday is like a secret that no one will ever know. No one will ever know how broken I am inside. The person I once was died a long time ago.

Who made up the idea of money? Fuck that as well. Having to work your life away just to provide for your family. You lose the precious time with your family to earn the root of all evil. Money.

I wish life was simpler. I wish that life didn’t hurt so much. Sometimes I just feel as if I don’t belong here.

I wish I could just slit my wrists and watch the blood run out and thank God for the life I DID have.

If only I wasn’t too scared of going to hell.

If only

Its too much my hearts crushed, Im still alive- XXXtentacion

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