Everyday is groundhog day.
With a different argument, same feelings of self loathing. Same ways to set up my failure, every day @ or a little after 6am ARGUMENT. Insomnia is not the issue, fear and sadness is. We’re going to be separated legally very soon, I feel it in my bones. And everything I hope for is going to fall to ashes around me. I wish, I hope, & if I could believe in his god, I would pray to be strong enuff to leave the world before that happens.
There is nothing left for me. Being a single mom is not in anyone’s best interest. Especially not for my kid. If god exists why won’t he just take me?
Why do I have to make people suffer? Why do I have to hurt everyone? Why can’t I jus lie & shine like the world I live in is pretty?
Why can’t I just go to sleep FOR GOOD? everything I do is a failure.
All I am is a curse. I hate every piece of my person, & breathing jus makes it worse.
I’m too weak to survive, & yet too weak to die. I hate myself more each day. & There’s no1 to confide.
2 comments
This is a good place to get advice and to be heard. I can’t feel the pain that you are going through but I can see that it’s too much. Be strong for your kid. We wish that everything goes well.
I feel most of what you are going through. My name says it all.
I pray. But it is pretty evident that no one listens to my prayers.
But still, I hope you find peace.