It’s over soon

February 6th, 2018by itsoversoon6

It’s over soon.
I keep telling myself, just one more day… It’ll all be over soon.
I don’t want it to hurt anybody… There are still too many bonds, but they will soon be gone. Soon I’ll be all alone in this world, free to end it without a single tear being wept. Free to get the peace I’ve desired for so long… It’s all over soon.
I feel like a horrible person, for wishing the people that love me will die from disease as soon as possible… It’s so very selfish of me. Of course I wish them all the best, but I need my peace…
I simply can’t do it anymore… No more pain… No more tears… No more depression… No more trying…
So I wish. I wish that soon I’ll be left all to myself in this amazing world. Free to disappear, free to cease to exist. Free to die, without hurting anyone… I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand or accept. I know they’d do their best to pick me back up, as they always do. I always end up giving into it… I let them believe they saved me, even though the only reason I stay is cause I can’t bring myself to hurt them… But what kind of a reason to live is that. I live cause I don’t want to hurt others… Looks good in an anti-suicide campaign, to have people in so much pain they want to die believe that it’s more important to not hurt others by giving up… Even though I partially agree, it infuriates me to see. I wish there was more understanding.. I wish people would accept that maybe some people are so broken, that ceasing to exist is their dream and hope. That maybe, it’s the right thing for them. How could someone that loves life ever be the judge of that?

But hey.. I’m following the campaign’s advice. I’m waiting for them all to die before me, before letting me have my dream. I just keep telling myself…
It’ll all be over soon.
Soon it’s my turn.
So very soon…

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