We all have those grey days…

Yesterday I broke down.

Yesterday I posted here my most utter feelings and ideas, I didn’t censor anything. That man yesterday, was me, it still is me, but for now it is all under control.

I want you all to know that I’m doing well, and this is a fact for all of us , that we all have those grey days, but at the end of each session, we have bright ones too.

I’m not at my best, nor at my worst. I’m just living life as much as I can, and as much as socially accepted.

I sometimes fantasize about suicide, it is how I can keep on waking up at morning, and keep going through.
Like many of you, I don’t see how I can recover from anything that I’ve been through but I’m still giving it a chance.

I’m working my best toward a better future. After graduation I would go and get a treatment. I want to take care of my mental health.

I never had a chance to stop and see where my life is going to. I never had the chance to put a stop sign on the fucked up situations I was thrown to.  I finally have a chance to fight for freedom and this is what I’m doing.

I’m currently studying engineering at one of the best universities world wide. I only need to keep on going. I will graduate in another 3 years or so.

I wish you all the best, I’m finishing this post with a good bye. I have a way to walk, and new experience are waiting for me upfront. I know I will break again, this has happened already few times before, and will keep on being.

Stay strong ,be brave, yours ;  Jac.