I used to bottle up all my emotions, and stuffed it in a “box.” I was like Dr. Spock, all logic no feelings. But at some point I broke. I experienced my first heartache and now I can’t get back to the way I used to be. I am now all emotional and sensitive. Before I could at least deal with life by shutting off all emotions and go through life via logic. But now that the emotions have seeped out, I can’t stuff it back in.
Has anyone gone through this? Did you go through life suppressing all your emotions and the dam to your feelings broke and now you’re all emo? What comes next after letting all your emotions out? I’m at the point where everything and anything gets to me. I can’t handle things anymore. I cry, I’m weepy, I’m sensitive, I’m angry, I have all this pent up rage and anger. What comes next? And how long does this “phase” last?
I miss being unemotional. At least I didn’t feel all this pain and I could get things done. Now I just fall apart…
3 comments
I will give an elaborate reply later. Short on time.
What I tell you will make you feel better.
That’s the exact phase I was in. Took me 2 years of intense agony sleepless nights and madness, and Iam kind of coming back to a healthy stage but with effort which will last or not I don’t know. I became very touchy and emo. Eter that is your body’s way of telling you it’s overwhelmed I will advise you to do self healing and stay away from caring about other people. You need yourself. Give a blind eye, and a deaf ear to everybody around you, only focus on your own self and how you can get out of that stage without causing much harm to yourself. I will also ask you to sit for meditation.
I will tell you a story!
There was this puppy. Didn’t mingle much. Kept to itself most of the times. Lying in the safe hands and believing nothing could harm it. It had full faith in its owner. The owner was just ok, but the puppy thought it was alright, and believed he was testing it but really loved it. As time passed, the puppy got absense from the owner. It couldn’t feel his presence even when he was around.
Finally, one day, the owner picked the dog and petted it. The dog was happy. Finally it knew that the owner’s love was not fake. The owner took it along everywhere. The God never wanted anything more than this. So one day, they ventured a bit far. The dog was confused because it was a new place, but not worried because it knew its owner was there. While walking, suddenly, the dog realised it was alone. Completely alone, no one around. It got confused, worried and over the days angry. It decided it doesn’t need anyone.
And that is when it created that “BOX” you mentioned
Now it was all by himself but it expected nothing. It would still be gentle to lost dogs that wandered on its path.
4 years passed. The dog was as happy as it could be.
And one day, the owner suddenly shows up. It was confused again and apprehensive, but as soon as it was picked and shown love, it forgot everything. It was happy that even if it had forgotten him, he came back for it.
That’s when it got rid of that “BoX”
And just when it thought everything was getting normal it realised it was alone again. No one around for miles.
The box is opened now. It is full of questions. It wants to know why. It is enough now.
I am the dog……
And I want to ask GOD, why…..