I’m trapped in this world, I’m trapped in my own mind.
my thoughts are consuming me, the idea of death is consuming me more and more everyday for 2 years.
I’ve been told I’m a burden, a non tolerable friend, lover,& daughter, I’ve been told I’m never good enough, i’ve been asked to kill myself, and I’ve been told im nothing, and I’ve become to believe i actually am.
some people didn’t need to literally say these things to me but their actions spoke for them pretty well.
I just can’t find my purpose, no matter what i do im never good enough, if i cut myself in pieces for people it’s still not enough.
I feel unlovable and desperate.
all i do is think, i can’t think about anything but thoughts to the point where i lost touch with reality, but reality is my biggest fear, reality sucks and scares me.
The thing is i don’t want to die and i don’t want to live, i wanna disappear; i just wish i never existed.
i never liked the idea of life even if its a happy life, i just hate the idea of existing.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
I realy understand what you feel, i feel the same. never good enough, never wanted. if you like to talk you can email me: dick(at)deds.nl replace (at) with the sign used in all mail-adresses
There is no more convincing liar than our own mind. Unlike exerior liars, you can’t just walk away from this one. There is no ignoring the voice that pounds at your skull every minute of the day. You can only be told you’re a useless mistake so many times before you start to believe it.
The best defense you can do against this voice is to remind yourself that this voice is an interior voice. This isn’t people saying this to you. It’s not family or friends. You also must remember this voice is bias against you. How often do you think other people are useless and deserve death? I bet there’s not a single person you think that upon.
I ask that you look at yourself the same as you look at others. If you were someone else staring at you from their point of view, would you still think you deserve death? Would you still think you’re useless?
Email me if you ever want to talk okay? devinbelver@yahoo.com
And welcome to SP! ^.^