My friendship is going to shit along with my energy, mentality and grades. I got an A- and B+ last semester. Now my family has done away with another friend.
I f*cking can’t stand how much I loathe them for finding new ways to make me unstable. Kicking me out after my parents divorce and backing it up with lies. My sister slept with my friend and lied about it, they start a relationship and after she broke up with him, he wouldn’t come over so we started drifting. Still friends, but more distant. Same time, my step sister hooks up with my best friend and then later they break up, and banished from dad’s the same week as my sister and my friend. Then my step sister hooks up with my best friend again a year later (she’s sex-positive and polyamorous) and banishes him again because he told a joke that offended her.
I don’t know if I should dump my friend of 20+ years because it seems whatever I have is just something my sisters take and dispose of. I don’t have money to go out all the time to see my friend. I am invisible in this. It’s hard having chronic pain, and it’s hard having romantic relationships on top of that when you’re gay- my friends mean everything to me. My family has seen me kicked out over 6 times post-divorce and I was made to feel homeless. I deal with religion all over again with a step-mom that believes in conversion therapy and shares Kim Davis beliefs that I should never be able to marry.
I was already suicidal with this horrible pain, and now I feel totally alone. I don’t even want to try because it’s all amounted to so much wasted effort. Theres so much to elaborate but bottom line, f*ck everyone and especially my family. I can’t wait to die, I really can’t.
5 comments
I had family problems that were severe too. My dad kept kicking me out and my mom was a ***** (they were divorced) so i left entirely. Slept in the city park for a while till I just took off hitch hiking. Then I got to see the whole of the u.s. but yes I was alone. Life won’t ever be perfect but you sometimes have to take a leap and sacrifice something and you can at least live a little before dying.
I’m really sorry to hear your family does these things to you. I can relate to you in that I’m bi and my family is highly religious as well. They don’t know but I hear them taking saying how gays are wrong and are going to go to hell and all that. Apologies if I’m imposing for saying this but if your friends want to abandon you because of what you mentioned, then they are just bad friends. You deserve better. I know me saying this won’t help much but I do hope you will find friends that will stick by you and I wish you well
He’s not abandoning me. It’s that he doesn’t want to go over to the house because my step sister is threatening to call the cops. She lives in the attic, and I live in the basement. She goes to my parents, and her mom pressures my cowardly father who let’s it all happen.
In a way, I’m distancing from him because I can’t afford to go out, and I don’t really enjoy going out of I’m being honest. I like to invest fully into my friendship, and this has been a wedge. Going out burns a hole in my wallet and I resent my step family 100% but I’m also questioning my friend in my mind for even giving them the option to pull some sh*t like this. I don’t trust them, and so I stay away, but once again it’s like I’m invisible. I hope their silly relationship was worth the damage to our friendship, though in retrospect I think we all know it’s not.
A- and B+ are not bad grades. I wish i had those grades. Don’t be so hard on yourself
Oh those were last semester’s grades. I brought them up just because it’s what makes me know I can do better. I got a 69 on my exam and I know it’s largely in part to the stress, depression and exhaustion.