I love my dogs. I love people. I love when people love. I love the world. I love the sky. I love trees. I love animals. There is very little that I don’t love. I love myself to an extend. I love music and writing.
But the funny and ironic thing is, I don’t feel like any of those things love me back. If music loved me, it would let me write it every once in a while instead of staring at notes for hours. Or if the sky loved me, it would let me sour through its clouds. If animals loved me, they would let me hug them as much as I want.
I love you world. I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re amazing. But why do I feel so disconnected from you. Why do I feel like I’m watching you from a window from some hell planet?
(thank you if you actually read my gibberish post about the world lol if you think it’s supposed to be metaphoric or something, it’s really not. I was being quite direct. This is just me thinking about life in general. um, well but I guess)
11 comments
We must learn to see the love the world gives and allow ourselves to accept it as it is.
Great thoughts. I know the feeling you’re talking about. But here’s the thing… true, unconditional love doesn’t require reciprocation and in fact sometimes it’s stronger if the love isn’t reciprocated. Here’s an example… ever hide random treats for your dogs to find? And when they find it they’re like OMGWOW FREE TREATS FROM THE HEAVENS. And you sit there watching with the best feeling in the world, even though you didn’t get credit.
It’s the same feeling as doing anonymous nice things for people, or if you rescue a wild animal that’s stuck, or if you save a tree that’s dying. Or just watching someone you love while they sleep (especially dogs, cats or your kids). You get a great feeling that’s better than any “thank you” or “I love you too” could ever express.
I know what you’re saying though. Sometimes you just need confirmation. Validation. You wish others would do unto you as you do unto them. I get them also but I think those are fleeting pangs of loneliness/disconnection. Neediness. No one is above that. But it’s really trivial compared to the love you’re capable of giving out.
People invent karma and heaven and all sorts of ideas that say you eventually get a reward for loving others. But I think that defeats the real reward which is instant. If none of this makes sense then just hide some treats for your dogs and you’ll know what I mean 🙂
I understand what you mean. I should have no expectations. If I do something, I do it out of my heart and not in expectation of getting something back for it.
But sometimes if you don’t get anything back, you start to wonder why you love in the first place. It starts feeling like loving is useless.
Just this morning I woke up at 8 am on Saturday and saw a fairly large spider standing on the side of my wall. I thought, I could just kill this. It’s early and I really don’t want to go through the trouble of putting it outside. But what most people don’t understand about spiders are we have a million times more potential of causing harm then they do. The most they can do it bite and 95 percent don’t have fangs that can pierce our skin.
So it’s 36 degrees f outside, but I sill got a container and put it outside. (You’re welcome whispered fish now that you’re going to see this)
What were we talking about again? You seem like a cool person! If you want to ever talk about anything my email isdevinbelver@yahoo.com 🙂 thanks for your comment, it helped a lot ^.^
You’re pretty awesome darkwillow! Thanks for not killing that spider.
I know that feeling of how loving is useless but I love for loves sake. For the sake of the well being of others. For the sake of keeping love alive in this world that can feel so cold at times.
That’s AWESOME about the spider! Do you ever wonder, if you believe in god/aliens/superior creatures, if they would take the time to help us the same way? I hope they would given the chance, rather than smush us.
But yea it goes back to what you were saying… Why would anyone (or god or alien) go out of their way to love us, any more than we would love a spider? Logically what’s the point of being kind? It doesn’t seem like it serves any purpose as far as evolution goes. Survival of the fittest and all that crap.
But one thing’s for sure, it feels better to be full of love than full of hate. Using your spider example, I used to hate spiders and live in fear every night. Then one day I made the choice to stop hating them. Sure I’m still creeped out by them, but I don’t “hate” them. So it’s like a cloud of darkness is lifted. Maybe that translates into a better/longer life in the long run?
Anyway thanks for making me think about good stuff for a change. Yay for Mr (or Missus) spider
By the way 33 you are pretty insightful and creative! I’m going to go hide some cat treats for my buddy right now. Thanks.
Lol!! Let us know how it goes. Once on Easter I hid treats in the yard for my dog. It was the best day ever
@33 I call the stuff in your first twp paragraphs Random Acts of Kindness. Very rewarding.
Thank you flutterby! I’m trying to be better about love. I’m a shy person, especially in person. So since I talk very little, most people don’t see that I love or care for them I think. They probably think I’m rude. (P.s. You can email me too if you want.) (p.p.s. I named the spider Stephanie.)
And yes I did assume the spiders gender. Even though that’s probably illegal these days.
I used to write like this now everything I write is sad depressing or just hollow