Those 2 pink lines mean the world to me but if I knew how much my life would change I think I would’ve been more careful. I don’t have a job anymore. Bills are just piling on top of each other. I battle with my family again. All because of this lil bean growing in me. Now don’t get me wrong I will have the utmost love for my baby but as I’m only 9 weeks in and have about 31 long more weeks to go I can’t help but wonder when things will get better. I do nothing but sleep and when I am awake I just lay in bed my body is so weak I can hardly stand. And now I’m on medication just to eat what I can. Ive had a very fair share of bad days..but if I knew being pregnant would make me so depressed. Damn. I just feel so useless. So alone.
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You’re not useless. Or alone. Are you planning to raise your child?
Yeah I am. I couldn’t bare putting the baby up for adoption I’ve always been scared of being pregnant but now that I am I know I’m going to do everything to take care of them
Life is kind of everywhere. You were really happy and hopeful and now you’re super down again. Is the guy you were dating still there? Is he helping?
Yeah the father of the baby is still around we live together. And yeah he does a lot for me physically but he doesn’t understand how I feel emotionally lately no matter how much we try and talk things through so we have a barrier between us and it’s upsetting
You’re both going through a lot. Sometimes people dont understand your pain. But even if he doesn’t fully get how you feel, he’s still going to do everything he can to help and support you.
This is a rough patch. Life can be cruel sometimes. But try to think about the future. You’ll have a baby and a family. I know you’ll find happiness. And you’re almost there. The greatest treasures in life are only rewarded when taking the most difficult paths. But if you can survive it, which I know you will, it’ll be a thousand times worth it.
I’m sorry if I sound stupid right now, I’ve been up for the past 24 hours straight. xc
Yeah that’s very true I just have a hard time thinking in the kind of light. Like you know how bad I used to be and sometimes I feel like I’m getting back to that mentality again and it scares me. And nah you don’t sound stupid. Wild that you been up that long though lately I sleep a total of 16 hours a day more or less.