I was in the same boat long ago….everything the same. Looked like it would never change, chained to the monde routine. Then i, or should I say, the brain farted. Got help but oh my god the psych stuffed me full of happy pills. I have never been the same, but still insanly I’m lost, but the routine feels better. It becomes your only grasp. The only thing you know. You stop listening to the world. It will make you worse. Routine to keep you away from the outside.