This is a true story.
“Bob” went home for lunch and never came back, forever. We didn’t find out until the next morning, when one of the big-wigs called us all into the lunch room. He passed around a tissue box saying somberly that Bob “had taken his own life. His friend found him last night.”
I really didn’t know Bob very well. But I had heard the rumors that he’d gotten a bad review and didn’t get a raise and was told, basically, “it’s time to start updating your resume.” That was about 3 weeks prior. So I found it hard to listen to the big-wig boss telling us how ‘we are all important,’ and ‘we care about each one of you and…’ and blah blah blah a-hole. That’s not what you told Bob, was it?
An eerie feeling penetrated the whole office, more quiet, a couple of female colleagues crying, sniffling, their hushed whispers taking on a different meaning. Bob had transformed our little office into a funeral home, and I found myself nodding and shaking my head along with everyone else, as all the tired, absurd, BS platitudes and cliches were tossed around so knowingly by the living: “Nobody saw this coming”, “Permanent solution to a tempora..” blah blah blah… but to myself I’m thinking: ‘Way to go Bob, I don’t blame you buddy. This life sucks.’
The only things that bothered me were: 1) he didn’t wait 2 more days and pick up his last paycheck and have just one last hurrah, you know? Live like a King etc. and 2) (the worst): he had a 12 y/o daughter. (The kids left behind always bother me…)
But Bob must’ve made a snap decision, because he hadn’t left a note (that we were told of), and –out of a morbid sense of curiosity– people were going over to his cubicle and looking in: His computer was still on, his reading glasses still setting on some papers scattered about here and there, a book was opened… like he was planning on coming right back to work… but nope. He’d had it; he went home for lunch and that was it; he said, “that’s it, I’m out.” He was at the end of his rope… (ahem) he just couldn’t take it anymore. I just wonder if something had triggered him at home? What was the final nail for Bob? The last straw? A bill in the mail? A phone call? No phone call? What? Or did he decide on his way? WTF Bob? I should’ve gotten to know him better…
In a few days his ex-wife is coming in to box up his glasses and pictures of his daughter from his desk… so his cubicle will be a little Shrine to Bob until then…
Bye Bob. You left this world in a hurry and left us all wondering why and wtf? Left me faking it to our colleagues that your exit is some big, terrible tragedy… and I’m sure for your daughter it is, and it’s terrible that your chosen exit from this pain-ridden world will now scar her for life… or so I’ve been told.
Or maybe it will better prepare her for it?
Sometimes I wonder.
13 comments
Rest in peace Bob. Your pain is finally over
i’m sorry
Hmm I believe ppl working for corporates will have to face this. I lost my job in 2016 and I got into mental trauma became suicidal n shit. My colleagues and family were like “it’s just a job don’t be hard on yourself” but the fact is there are so many other things that slap us right on our face. Failure, stress, shame, fear of facing other people, fear to face ourselves, liabilities, fear that we can never get a job again to make ends meet..
I’m sorry for Bob. Not sure how long he tried to hold on, but I’m sure he tried and ended it when he could take it no more.
As spectators we can say he has been thoughtless leaving his family back to suffer, yea, but how much of pain he had to endure to take the decision. Those three weeks after the firing must have been hell. I went through this too. But a couple of times for every 3 months and not capable of getting another job.
the survivors are always the victims. my 23 year old son will be fucked up forever.
The top hypocrites where I used to work could not even remember to take down the “People Are Our Most Important Asset” posters as the outsourcing began.
I ency you bob, you finally had the peace we’ve all been looking for. Rest in peace bro.
I couldn’t get past the part about him leaving a 12 yo daughter. She is scarred for life. People say suicide is selfish, I don’t know, but definitely having a child and then killing yourself is damn selfish.
RIP Bob!! May you find peace wherever you are. F this world
I wonder how Bob did it because I need an easy way out. RIH Bob, strong man & prayers for his daughter.
Condolences. I hope his daughter will grow up to fairly understand why.
Congratulations Bob. I am happy you have taken the right way out.
I understand the kid part but she lived with Mom and never saw him anyway
I have worked in three places where we had a “Bob”. The details of each case where different, yet the same. In every case I feel confident of this much:
Bob was compelled to do what he did. We don’t know what was already causing Bob pain before he learned he was loosing his job. We don’t know how much Bob’s coping skills had been compromised before he learned his employment was ending. We don’t know if Bob was doing a fine job and thus being let go as some kind of personal retribution. Or maybe Bob was breaking inside thus his job performance was indeed poor and not likely to get better anywhere else or anytime soon.
I have great confidence in the current state of mental health care when it comes to it’s ability to prolong life, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse (read: drugs). But I bet Bob had no such confidence as this and just saw he was unwilling to continue living under the only conditions he could foresee.