I believe I’m not capable of the living life where I’m happy or succeeded in my career and have loving children and a lovely husband.
I believe I’m not capable of feeling every emotion of happiness that life has to offer.
I believe I’m not capable of looking in the mirror and loving what I see inside and out.
I believe I’m not capable of being someone’s soulmate that they can’t live without and love eternally.
I believe that I’m meant to feel the heaviness over my head and the pain within my heart.
I believe that I don’t deserve to have all the love I receive as I don’t feel worthy enough to give it in return.
I believe that I’m meant to be the problem and not the solution.
I believe I’m meant to be the one who suffers so no one else has to.
I believe I’m meant to live a short life to better everyone else’s.
6 comments
Hi, I see you’re a new person. I feel the same in some aspects I feel like everyone on this site is the same. Is it alright if I ask why you feel this way?
Hello, & yes I am new I decided I wanted input from others on what a write as I mostly write only on paper I decided to change it to where I can get responses from others rather than keeping it to myself. I will honestly post more about stuff so expect that & your question as to why, I’m not really sure just situations that piled on top of each other that blew up my insecurities, emotions, and so fourth. I’m still trying to figure it out myself as well.
Alright. I’ll be on the lookout for your posts 🙂
You sound like your own worst enemy… Give yourself a break. There are lots of things that are beyond our control, but there’s a few that are. Things can be hard enough without you beating yourself up too.
If I had to pick the one I felt was the most important from the things you said, it would be that you don’t deserve to have all the love you receive and are not worthy enough to give it in return. It was also a turning point for what you wrote.
By believing that, you betray love. You need to trust the person giving it to you. They are judging what to do with their feelings. If they find you worthy of their time and feelings, who are you to argue with their judgement? That’s sad, because not only does it mean you wouldn’t accept love, hurting yourself, but because of your own self-esteem you don’t return it, likely hurting them.
You said you are meant to be the one who suffers so others don’t have to, and shorten your life to better everyone else’s; I know how you feel, but you’re wrong. I’d be willing to bet that people are better off with you in their lives, than without. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be receiving any love to self-destructively not return. How would you having a shorter life keep someone else from suffering? If they’re better off with you, then that would only cause suffering not remove it. And you can’t decide whether or not they’re better off without you – only they can.
Maybe you aren’t capable of a lot of things, maybe life just won’t go that way. But that’s something you ARE capable of, and should fix. It’s a step, and you never know what doors it will open in relation to all the other things.
You’ve clearly been hurt… I’d like to hear your story if you would feel like talking about it. You should post it, or email me. bd2342f2@writeme.com
your perception is something I did not expect and I honestly love your honesty & how willing you are to help me I truly appreciate it more than you know, I will honestly take into consideration on what you said I should work on as I know I have so many things also will also post more so my story would be an open book. I would love your input when I do.
I’ll keep an eye out for them.