it’s hard for me to get over being a product of such high demand where I am because it sounds pretentious and braggy, but it’s the truth and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been in a state of near constant anxiety for a few days now just because I can’t say no to people. I’m totally aware I’ve been draining myself empty for projects that aren’t even my own, and that it’s been feeding into this awful nothingness I live through, but I can’t compromise the part of me that doesn’t want to make anyone unhappy. I’ve been dodging phone calls and texts, procrastinating plans and decisions, and I can’t stop being so nervous about it. I don’t have the time for this but here I am. I keep saying I’m so close to cutting on this platform but it never happens lol
either i fucking do it and relapse already or I stop boo hooing about it for pity points
lmao what do I think I’m building suspense or something
3 comments
Not following through on help due to overcommitment won’t make anyone happy, either, including yourself. and that anxiety won’t go away until things are resolved. be honest with yourself about what you can reasonably accomplish within a timespan, and if it means taking on less/modifying certain things then that’s what needs to happen.
You saying you’re close isn’t something I see as pity seeking. You feel close to the edge, if expressing that helps then do it. Spoken or no you’re still going to feel it, and when there’s a prevalent topic on your mind it’s what you’ll bring up until something changes.
Thank you sincerely for the advice. I’ve been trying to just internalize that stringing people along is worse than saying no. As far as I can see there’s no other way around this than ripping the bandaid off, but my therapist is probably gonna have to help me out a bit with that, if I’m being honest; i feel
guilty for obligations I missed that never even existed. Anyway, I’m rambling; thank you for talking to me.
You’re welcome.
And there’s nothing wrong with needing your therapist for help, either. It’s amazing how much we can put on ourselves, and it’s hard to change some things alone.