“Irrational” Issues

Commitment issues? Lack of belonging? Paranoid? Anti-social? Untrusting? Feeling like a burden?

Well, everything I’ve ever tried to commit myself to in my entire life has failed spectacularly in fashions that appear almost if by design to hurt me. Nearly everyone I called a friend stabbed me in the back, semi-lied to me and semi-conspired against me, and then abandoned everything just to avoid one of my best friends and I. And another best friend, the only person I knew in real life and that told my only secret to (about who I love), betrayed me both to my face and also my back, as he was instrumental in getting everyone to stab me in the back and leave (to my face), and also didn’t tell me how close he was getting to the person I love (to my back). Now I’m miserable, depressed, and suicidal. I never lie, and so my emotional state became a burden.

So do I have some fucking issues? You bet.

But yeah, must be one of those damn mental illnesses; always so irrational.