hi. new here.
every time I gain a responsibility, like homework, I just don’t do it. I push it away, because I know I’m too lazy to actually put the effort in.
so when I don’t do it, and the deadline closes in, I panic. I still don’t do it.
whatever’s holding me back has a tight hold on me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
I’ve planned multiple suicides before this, and I didn’t fail. I just never went through with them. I don’t really understand myself.
I have a problem. actually, I have two. they’re both relevant to commitment.
I can’t commit to doing even the smallest chore or keeping the smallest promise. I feel like a pet rock. I’m pointless to have around and just take up space.
when I make my own plans and promises to myself, I can’t even commit. isn’t that strange? if I can’t commit to myself, how can I keep promises to other people?
I consistently let my friends and family down. I lie about my responsibilities to the point that all my lies have caved in around me. I feel like a failure.
I’m sure I am a failure.
4 comments
The hand is simply scattered. The calmness will stabilize eventually.
If you told me i could do something i don’t want to do today or put it off and have the consequences double each day, it would still literally take a forced action to get me to do it.
Bills. Licenses. Cars. Relationships. Health. Just let me slip into a coma and forget the world except, YOU GUESSED IT the world keeps mailing you bills whether you’re asleep or not.
I hate it i hate it i hate it. But really you have to attack it and do it first thing. Do not give yourself one second to put it off. Do it and do it FIRST
Whenever I had homework in school, I think I remember trying my best to do something fun first, then homework, then back to something fun.
You just got to sandwhich the boring stuff in with the fun things. :p
But yeah, I can understand just wanting to enjoy life and… not deal with all the boring crap. :p
I mean, I hate doing chores like doing laundry or vacuuming the carpet but it’s nice to habe thinfs be clean and not stink and stuff, it makes everyrthing feel nice and I get sixk really easily fron stuff like allergies.
Nice to know that as an adult I can kind of do these things myself at any time because I feel like and not because anyone told me to as well. :p
But yeah, this is what I felt about having a job before I got it… ans now I hate my job because it’s retail. -_- Ans there’s some peopke that might tell you about it…
But I mean before then I was overwhelmed about how to eben get one and if it’s complicated and if I’ll get judged for a lot and how long I’ll need to habe it for and how much it will take up my life before I can like… enjot it and stuff…
And yeah… sometimes everything is just crap. :p
Sorry if that’s not really comforting, that’s just how I feel fron all of this right now…
Same. I’m so lazy all the time. I only work 2 hours once a week. I could’ve gotten fired, but my sort of aunties own the company I work at so I didn’t get fired. But I realised that I had to step up my game. Even though it’s a small job, it’s the real world. I can’t slack of all the time, no matter how much I want to. But then again I’m procrastinating by going on this website when I’m supposed to be studying for a test. So, I don’t really have the right to judge. It’s hard finding the movitation to do things, sometimes you just have no choice but to do to, otherwise everything will build up and crash down over you.