I’m thinking about attempting today. I know it probably seems spontaneous, but it really isn’t. Not really, anyway.
I’m a little worried though. The only means I have is a rope and my doorknob. I don’t know if I’ll do it properly, and I really don’t want brain damage. I guess that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.
Then again, I kind of want to go to church one more time before I go. Maybe I should wait till Monday. I don’t know. I don’t know.
24 comments
go to church please
I vote for church, what it’s worth.
Yeah, it’s looking more and more like I’ll wait till Monday, but I’m not saying anything for sure. I’ll decide by tonight. It depends on a few things.
Try and wait til Monday, hypocritical of me to say hold on since I’m suicidal Also but a rope and doorknob doesn’t sound certain enough. Whatever your decision I wish you good luck
Thanks. Though even if I do wait, I won’t have a better m-ethod by then. I’ll still use the rope no matter what day I do it.
if you’re thinking of hanging yourself in your house, you know that’s one of the slowest and most painful death? you won’t break your neck. you’ll suffocate for a minute and half.
you speak of suicide, and church. yet suicide is condemned by religion. that’s not the thing to do. you won’t gain anything and you will bring pain and guilt to your loved ones.
you’re not alone. even if you feel there is no one you can relate to, even if right now you don’t have any friend or someone that you can trust, even if you feel like there’s no one like you in the world or that there aren’t any good people anymore, that’s wrong. there are good people out there. there are wonderful people that you can trust and rely on. those, special persons. but they are special for a reason. otherwise they wouldn’t be special. don’t give up after coming so far.
I know it’s a miserable way out, but I’m not in a place to be picky. I have no other ways to do it.
And yeah, suicide is condemned by my religion. But there’s nothing I can do about that. That’s just how it is. If I burn in Hell then I burn in Hell. It would’ve happened anyway, so, no need to let it stop me.
I don’t understand that…
Are suffering people just supposed to suffer then?
I mean, I guess there’s a lot of people that will mourn for you and stuff…
I think I saw on google stuff like the stigma on suicide like someone who kills themselves shouldn’t be called “comitted suicide” like committing a crime but more like “died by suicide”.
Also, it isn’t cowardly to kill yourself, what’s cowardly are the people who would make someome want to kill themselves if that was the reason.
I agree with that a lot… nice to see some empathy ans understanding from people like that…
I think I even saw something like suicide is the final form of depression and literally a disorder even jf it’s somewhat of a concious decision, it’s like a final symptom…
Suicidal people are victims right, not criminals? Unless maybe it’s suicide by cop.
to me it seemed you posted here because you still had that important thing, hope.
if you are devoted to your idea and there’s no talking you out of it, fine. but atleast, tell me your story. what could bring a man so low ?
No, I posted here because I know that there are people here who know me, and who’d want a warning before I off myself. That’s it. No hope involved.
As for my story, I can’t tell you. I appreciate your concern, but there’s no way I could explain a lifetime to you in this little comment box. I wouldn’t even be able to explain the last few months to you. Just thinking about doing so makes me feel so tired. It’s too much to say. I’m sorry.
Well it doesn’t have to be in a comment box, it could be in a post, but I understand…
I’m not sure if I can or even want to talk about my full story, maybe just some parts…
Gotta say, that sounds like a pretty iffy meth0d. If this isn’t spontaneous, then would it not be worthwhile to take the time to research and prepare something more reliable?
Anyway, I’m sorry you’re at this stage again. Maybe you won’t accept this, but I believe you deserve to live free of the things which torment you. I hope there’s some way you can find the peace necessary to go on, and live a more fulfilled life.
It’s not really about research. All the research in the world won’t give me a better m-ethod. The problem is that I have no way of getting anything better. I have no access to anything else.
And thank you. I hope so too. Unfortunately though, the chances of that happening within these next few days don’t look very good.
Shit, that…sucks. Are you sure there’d be no opportunity to find something a little better if you waited a while? I hate that someone would feel the need to risk that in search of a way out.
I’m not sure. I guess there’s always a chance. But I can’t wait for too long…
Is there something particular looming in the future that you feel the need to avoid?
I suppose when I think of doing it myself I always like to think I’d have my desired meth0d, a back up, location etc. all in place, to ‘do it right’. But then I have some resources to arrange stuff like that in theory. I guess it’s more likely that I’d actually do it in desperation when all my savings had run out and I had no other options. But I can’t help thinking that I’d always want to wait for an opportunity to find something quick and effective. It’s such a huge thing, after all. I wouldn’t want to have to go through it more than once, or be left alive in a worse state.
Hi Kat,
I’d definitely advise against that method, even if you feel like you have no other choice. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but the risk of brain damage isn’t something that should be a possibility when deciding these things.
I remember there was a period where some of your issues were curtailed. If I remember correctly, you were taking medication? Did you stop taking it, or did it stop working for you?
I hope you decide to go to church instead.
Yeah, I stopped taking the pills, I don’t remember how many months ago. They weren’t doing anything, and the side effects were bad. On a related note, I now have permanent muscle twitches. Isn’t that just great? The wonders of modern medicine.
Can you pinpoint what was helping, considering that it wasn’t the meds? I’m sorry to hear that, unfortunately that happens far too often.
Hmm… your indecision and planning sounds a lot like me… and trying to distract yourself with things you enjoy, putting off death until later…
I wish you could find a more permanent solution to help you than death, but, well…
I hope there will be an end to your suffering either way.
Take care.
Trey and I were just talking about you the other day. If you leave Kat, id hate is more than the world. But regardless, I honestly think there was a time in my life where you stopped me from ending my life. You gave me an amazing friend for a while when I had no one. And I think that if someone can help me out as much as you did, they don’t deserve the life you’ve been burdened to live. But I know what you think. You think you’re a burden to everyone else. But you’re not. Because if you weren’t here in that crucial time in my life, i dont think id be alive right now
I think that you do think, help people, way more than you realize. The world needs more fishes with whiskers… not less :c
Hey Kat.. did you end up going to church?
Fish, are you still here? I’ve been off for four years after surviving my attempt. Totally cheated death and I shouldn’t be here. Four years later and I remembered you, and your kindness. I hope you’re still here.
Fish, you’re one of the reasons I’m still alive, and I came back after over four years to say thank you. I sincerely hope you’re still here. Please, please let me know if you are..