Not better

I woke up not feeling better. I wish I didn’t woke up. I felt I need to end it today. I’m not sure what to do. I want it to be painless as possible, but there’s no such way comitting suicide is painless. I’m thinking of overdosing myself with sleeping pills but I can’t buy it without a doctor’s prescription. Yet again, If I don’t do it today, I’ll still be in this endless loop of nothingness. I simply don’t have any motivation to continue my life. I don’t want to face reality. I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend’s feelings by breaking up with her. I just want to escape all this, thru death. I’m tired of waiting.