I found comfort in this darkness, they say it’s mind over body but is it really? There are days I could be laughing all day and crying all night, pouring my deepest emotions when I am alone. I used to say I am so tired of feeling like this but now I’m fine being like this, nothing can actually save me right now and it is more than wanting to be dead because I feel lifeless already. My energy is draining, I’m left with a few percentage before my mind shuts down and I am not afraid if that happens. I am giving in to whatever that wants to happen, I don’t want to control any of it because I know I am never going to win this battle. I am okay with losing because for once I just want to close my eyes and fall free.
2 comments
“I am never going to win this battle” – good line, sums up my train of thought 24/7.
I know this feeling so well. Comfort in my own sad world. To the point where I had gained some friends and had to leave my comfy sad dark world. I think it feels good to be comfortable with your own fucked up emotions. Not necessarily being comfortable with them but finally accepting, as you said giving in.. I hope you too find something that makes you drag yourself out of your comfy dark world like I did once despite here I am again.