Today I failed to get up to go to school. Again… I hate waking up, everyday it annoys me, I never got used to it and never will. My mom told me that i disappoint her. She told me that my father was right (in telling me that Im useless and selfish probably since I was born). She told me that my brain is washed up from weed and video games and that I will be homeless soon. My mom probably cries because of me. That is the worst feeling ever. I feel like a human piece of shit. All she wanted was to have a normal son that functions in this society and I couldnt achieve that for her. I will never hahave a good job, I will never have a girlfriend (too ashamed of my existence). I would like to blame it all on society and my crazy father but that would be even more pathetic. Im looking forward to being homeless, atleast I will have a real reason to end it. That will make my mom even more miserable. If there is a hell after this life I belong in it for sure. I always thought Im an atheist but it would kinda make sence for hell to exist to punish useless people like me that only make others miserable. My life is a hell alredy but i feel like that doesn t justify it. Death would just completely free me while the suffering that I created would persist. That doesnt feel right. So if god exists and sees this here is a big F U C K you for creating such a caricature of a human being. Everyone around me achieving awesome stuff meanwhile I cant even manage to get up.
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6 comments
Our thought process is damn near identical.
I’m not the type that has the bs words of support so..
Hopefully we meet in hell one day.
i feel your pain, i’m existence is utterly worthless, i like to tell my parents why tf couldn’t you get an abortion. and for all the worthy people dying, i would trade my life with them, they would probably do something worth doing. but im a piece of shit
You’ve just described my whole life I swear.! Thanks for replying to my post “Ashamed”. I can’t get up either. Since second grade I had this problem. And I’ve ruined all my relationships, because I hate myself so much.! My Mom works her A** off while I can’t even find a job. I feel like I’m too dumb for everything. I’ll be homeless soon too, when she moves away. I’m scared. Ironically Death comforts me. I hope you’ll find the light Mate. Whichever it may be.
Totally me, everyone around me is achieving big things while I lie in bed thinking about death 🙁
I wish I could give you a hug. I don’t know if it’ll ever get better, but I know you have the ability to try. I understand not being able to get up in the morning, maybe you need someone to talk to or meds to take to help regulate your serotonin. Whatever the case, I really hope you feel better, and if there’s anyway I can help, please just ask me.
This post hits home. I don’t function in this world either and have no doubt become a disappointment to my mom.