I probably need to fix my coping methods

My brain turned sour tonight when I got jealous. And it wouldn’t go away. I learned I just don’t like the taste of moscato anymore. I also hide my razors in obvious places to myself even though I forget where I put them. But I broke a bit and used them and I forget how much they help me clear my brain oh my god. And then I was texting the one person in the world who I trust the most and just decided to be honest but vague and they were confused which I didn’t want them to know I cut myself and then the alcohol told me to be honest and now my friend wants to make me throw the razors away but I don’t think I can they help me so much. So so much. My coping methods are honestly shit and I have to give them up soon so can’t i just hold on to them for a little while longer?? I don’t think I’m gonna give my friend all my razors. I’ll give him like two and tell him that’s all of them. That’ll work. They just help me so goddamn much